Golden Hero By Kristin Marie
by tWiLiGhTfAnTaSiEs
Summary: Isabella Swan is your average New Yorker. After being stabbed in the back by her ex, she swore to never fall in love again but that doesn't stop her three years after it happened when her best friend invites her to dinner with a gorgeous Edward Cullen
1. Chapter 1: Work

Golden hero

By: Kristin Marie

Preface

My back pressed against the rigid bark of a tree. The red-eyed fiend looked back at me, a wicked smile smacked across his face and my heart caught in my throat. My beautiful angle wasn't here to save me now and that only brought tears to my eyes.

He laughed a mad laugh as my pain came dripping down my face. The monster stalked toward me, claws open, ready to rip out my heart. My bloody hand covered my face as I awaited death to come to me.

Then another growl immersed, different from the one who is attacking me.

Chapter 1: Work

_Shrill_. I groaned and pulled the pillow over my head. Who would call at _this_ hour? _Just let it ring, Bella,_ I told myself. _Shrill. Shrill. Shrill_. I'm not answering, too tired.

I just had to go to sleep at one last night. This is what I get for writing my songs. When you're a writer, sometimes, you just can't keep it out of your head until you write it down and I'm always glad when I write down my ideas.

"Isabella!" Dad called sternly from the front room, just outside my bedroom door.

"What!" I moaned. It seemed like I wasn't going to get any sleep.

"Answer that phone!" He yelled. How could he hear it? Was it that loud? I sighed angrily and searched for my cell phone. All I felt was the wood beneath my fingers until I felt a cold, smooth, metal: my phone. It vibrated under my palm as I flicked it open.

"Hello?" I grumbled into the receiver.

"Hey, Hey! Good Morning! Rise and Shine! Wakey! Wakey! Eggs and Bakey!" Alice exclaimed through the receiver.

Too bad her job was already done, now I probably wouldn't go back to sleep. "Alice, Why are you such a morning person?" I mumbled into the phone.

"Because the day calls to me like a singing bird! Now get up! We got work!" My stomach dropped. I forgot what today was: my first day at my first job. Gulp

"Ugh, don't remind me" I moaned into the receiver and she just laughed. "See you in an hour" and then I hung up.

I looked over at the clock: 8: 03. I guessed it was time to get up as I slipped out of my large queen size bed and went to my connecting bathroom. I got my work clothes, put them on the counter, and stepped into the shower.

The hot water on my back made me jump but it helped wake me up. I loved my morning showers; they were always so relaxing and help douse my morning moods. I sloshed shampoo into my hair and washed my face.

Faintly, I could hear my parents arguing. They always argued over the most absurd things. It never used to be like this. Renee always told me how Dad would make her melt to her knees and they never argued, their love only grew stronger. Now a storm brewed over their relationship.

It was only then I noticed cold water hitting my back. I quickly shut the shower off and scrambled out. My wet foot slid on the tile and body fell onto the ground. I held my arms out to catch my fall, relieved my face didn't hit the hard floor. Just I sighed, pain shot through my ankle.

"Shoot" I grumbled, caressing my ankle.

"Bella? Honey?" Mom's voice erupted from the other side of the door, "Are you alright?"

"Yes, I'm fine, don't worry, I'll be out in a minute" I lied. I hated lying but at least no one ever believed me.

I heard her sigh sharply outside the door. My mother was the exact opposite of my father, she was sweet and compassionate; one of my best friends. She always supported whatever I did in life as I did for her. I didn't like lying to her especially. Renee was an elementary school teacher for kindergarteners and was constantly working but I loved it when she had summer break, we got to spend more time together.

My father was strict and stern. He was I guess you call him second in command at the New York City Police Department. He practically grew up in military school the way _his _father treated him. He's very close to becoming police chief with the current one retiring. In my opinion, the police chief is a very nice man; he's firm but fair. Of course I love my father but we're still in that distant awkwardness stage. Sometimes, he just scares me with his glares.

I got up off the floor, quickly drying myself with the towel and wrapping it around my body. I brushed the rough snarls out of my hair the best I could, pulled it into a pony tail behind my head, and then got dressed in jeans and my brand new work t-shirt. I was now working with Alice at a little clothing outlet. Alice knew I hated shopping but it got me a job so that's all I cared about. If I had to spend seven hours a day looking at clothes and folding them, then that's what I would do.

I wrapped my long, blue coat over my shoulders then took my wallet and phone, and shoved it into my coat pocket. Before I walked out, I went and opened my curtains to reveal the view of my beautiful New York City. Morning traffic covered the streets and many working men and women walked the sidewalks below. The sun shined bright over the horizon of the Hudson River. I let out a happy sigh. Then nervousness swept in my stomach. It was time

I walked out to the front room where Renee and Charlie were not speaking. I sighed and went to Renee. Charlie was on the couch, watching the Yankees play the Mets. Renee was at the mini bar, on a high stool, doing lesson plans for her kindergarteners.

"Hey, I'm going" I patted her shoulder. She looked back and smiled widely at me. I smiled the best I could back.

My mother saw my grimace and laughed, "It's always okay to be nervous." She hugged my shoulders reassuringly. "Have a good day, sweetie"

"Thanks, you too" I pulled back and smiled more naturally now.

"See you, Dad" I called over my shoulder as I headed for the door.

"Bye, Isabella, have a good day" He said, distracted by the game.

I sighed and rolled my eyes. I told him not to call me that but he never listened anyway. I liked Bella. It wasn't as much as a mouthful and it was less formal.

I opened the door and walked down the hallway of my parent's apartment. It was a middle class apartment building, made off by my father's and mother's pay. We didn't get a real modern one because they thought we wouldn't be able to do much, so we settled for this building. It was fine with me, two bedrooms, two bathrooms, and a living room and kitchen connected, showing a wonderful view of the city. The only thing I wanted was more space for my songs and guitar. Yes, I played guitar, but not well.

I touched the button on the elevator and took the usual minute down from the 12th floor. The lobby was crowded with busy working people. I pushed through the crowd, calling out apologies when I occasionally stepped on somebody's foot.

I always liked walking outside in the city; it always helped me get inspired for new songs. The cars' different honks, the peoples' different voice all fill the air in my mind and help me figure out tones, beats, and rhythms.

My hand unconsciously started patting in my pockets, trying to find the correct tempo of the day. It was quick, fast....upbeat? My feet started moving faster against the basic beat of other feet on the sidewalk, my hand still patting. I could just imagine the song in my.

_It's a brand new day_,

_I'm ready to take that challenge,_

_ I'm going to take it and take it hard without any delay_

_ Its just my brand new day for a change. _

My shoulders started bopping to the beat and unwritten, unplayed music filled my mind. Some people stared and moved out of my way. I came to the corner of 8th avenue and turned. I kept walking for fifteen minutes, letting the upright song bring me out of my nervous state. The song had become what it is in my mind.

Eventually, I came up to the little shop and clothes even I would like hung in the windows. I didn't see Alice and then I became anxious again, did I have the right store? I looked up and surely the sign said _City Girl Avenue. _

I pushed open the wooden double doors and the little bell rung from the corner of the door. A young adult, maybe my age, had her feet up on the counter and was reading a magazine. She was very pretty. Her blonde hair hung in curls under her shoulders and her form fit her tight top. The tag attached to her shirt indicated her name was Rosalie. I walked up to the counter. When she didn't look up, I cleared my throat. She sighed and dropped the magazine. Her irritated blue eyes assessed me and her face turned into grimace.

"May I help you?" her voice was just like her appearance but clearly annoyed.

I felt a little offended. She should be more polite to customers, although I wasn't looking to shop. "I'm the new employee." I stated and opened my coat, revealing my shirt but no name tag.

"Right" Her eyes drifted from me and towards the back of the store. "Alice!" She yelled.

And just on cue, Alice came skipping out of the corner. Her arms full of clothes. The pile was so high, you couldn't find her face or head.

"Hey Al, do you need help with that?" I asked, holding my arms out.

"But you just got here" she smiled a little and set the clothes down on the counter. Her spiky hair bounced with her movements and her brown eyes brightened.

"She's an employee, Alice; she's here to work not play" the one girl called Rosalie sneered.

When Rosalie turned back to her book, Alice stuck her tongue out at her. I put my hand to my mouth to stifle a giggle. She looked up at me, and grabbed my hand.

"Here, I'll show you around" She tugged me to the backroom, which was filled with clothes and clotheslines.

Alice let go of my hand, skipped to a desk, and opened the drawer. She rummaged around as I put my coat where hers was. My anxiousness had calmed down ever since I saw Alice. It felt nice to have something normal going on.

Then she came up from the desk. "Here, your name tag" Alice tossed it to me. The paper hit my hand and then fell to the floor. I sighed and picked it up.

Alice giggled. "Oops. Sorry" I looked up and she had her lips pursed together.

"Funny, Al" I said sarcastically.

She grinned and skipped over to me. "Okay, your job for now is just to fold clothes and sort them out."

I nodded, easy enough. "What are you doing?" I asked.

"I put them away" She laughed.

I laughed too; "Easy enough" I echoed my thoughts.

Alice led the way through most of the day. We handled female juniors first. I gently folded tops and bottoms the way she taught me and then handed them to her. Alice said I had to work faster and I tried the best I could. She helped me also, she was much quicker than I was, and it was amazing.

We talked as we worked. She said Rosalie's mother owned the place and was pretty much a little snit because she got whatever she wanted. I tended to believe that the way she acted towards me. Although, when people walked in she was completely polite.

"What the hell?" I asked Alice as she folded the last of the men's pants.

"What?" As she looked at the customers coming in.

"She's being polite" I murmured angrily, gesturing to Rosalie.

"Well yeah, Bell, that's how we get people to come again" Alice giggled and went to stack the pants on the table.

Rosalie smiled sweetly and the two women went to look at the juniors section.

Alice came back and slapped her hands together.

"But she wasn't even polite when I came in." I said to Alice, continuing our conversation.

"She knew you were coming and knew what you looked like" Alice muttered and turned towards the accessories, on the left side of the big desk where Rosalie was at. "These tend to get messed up a lot so we have to reorganize them"

I sighed sharply and started getting bangles together in their correct pairs. Alice handled earrings. It was just like that for a while; it was quiet just for the exception of metal being clanked together and pages of magazines turning. Most of the bangles were wooden and very unique.

"What company are these?" I asked Alice, gesturing to the bangles.

"They're actually hand painted" Alice murmured, untangling necklaces.

"Really?" I raised my eyebrows and looked at the beautiful designs on the bangles. I took one and looked at the earthy colors on it. Loose stripes of green, brown and blue flowed on the wooden bracelet. The texture of it was smooth and silky. I looked over at the price and my teeth bit down on my lip. Yikes, I can't afford that with my current budget. Oh well.

"Its quite pricey here, Bells" Alice said, "Everything here screams at me to buy them"

I laughed at her. She smiled at me.

Rosalie just huffed. Alice stuck her tongue out at her and I just went back to organizing. Occasionally one of us would see a nice piece of jewelry and say the other would like it and we would agree. We didn't really talk though; I guess Alice didn't want Rosalie in on our conversation.

Once it was the end of our shift, Alice went to the backroom again and handed me my jacket.

"Hope it wasn't too much of a hassle" Alice said and winked.

"No, it was a lot of fun, Alice." I smiled at her.

"Good. Oh we're off weekends so I was planning we do something tomorrow" She said, getting excited.

"It better not be anything fancy, Alice" I could barely afford my parents' rent.

"Oh relax, I'll pay for it anyway, it's almost your birthday. Consider it part of my present." Alice waved her hand.

I sighed sharply. Alice did have a lot of money. Her father was a businessman, a very busy one but very rich. So Alice got her share. But it didn't mean I got mine.

"Fine, Alice but not too much please" I told her. I didn't want my best friend spending money on me.

"Surely" She waved her hand in dismissal.

Translation: Be quiet, I get you what I want to get you no matter how expensive.

I sighed and walked out with her.


	2. Chapter 2: Dinner

Golden Hero

Chapter 2: Dinner"

Night dawned over the city; a typical Friday night for the New York. I slid two clips in my hair , pulling it behind my ears. I put light lip gloss on my lips and faint blue eye shadow on. I tried to look as natural as possible but with a little formality. I didn't know how formal or informal this whole dinner was so I just slid right in the middle.

I was to meet Alice at the Olive Garden by Times Square. She knew I loved Italian food. Her brother, Emmett, was going too. They were incredibly close, it sometimes makes me want an older brother, seeing how they talk and tease each other. Although, Emmett said he considered me a sister also and I was grateful for that.

I smiled as I slid on my blue ruffled top and a pair of dark jeans. I transferred my phone and wallet from my work pants to my clutch and then put on my black high top converse. I always loved those shoes, I wore them everywhere.

I flipped my phone open, held it to my ear and waited three rings. "Yo, yo, yiggity yo" Alice's voice chirped.

"Hey, I'll be there in ten minutes" I told her.

"Okay, we're there already-"

"HEY BELLA!" Emmett's voice yelled in the background.

"Ugh" Alice grumbled and I heard clicks on the other side of the phone, "Shut up!" She got back to the phone, "Sorry"

I laughed. "Its okay, tell Em I said hi. So what were you saying?"

"We're already there..." She trailed off; probably making sure Emmett won't interrupt. "just say 'Brandon Reservation'"

"Alright, see you in a few" I told her

Before I could click my phone shut I heard "BYE BELLA!"

I was laughing as I walked out the door.

Mom was in the living room, checking things off in her grade book. Charlie had already gone to work for the night. I felt bad for leaving my own mother alone. Just as my guilt sank in, Renee looked up and smiled.

"Well don't you look pretty" Renee stated.

I looked down and smiled. "Thanks, you don't think it's too much?" I asked.

"Not at all, you look wonderful, my dear" Renee was also a terrible liar but she wasn't lying this time. She looked very sincere. "And hey, who knows? Maybe you'll find some cute guys" She winked.

I felt my smile fade. Images filled my mind; His arms around her, him kissing her neck, her jaw, the tip of her lip, the look on his face when he saw me, my heart breaking at the site...

I blinked back the tears.

Once Renee realized her mistake, her eyes grew wide and she raced over to me. "Oh, honey, I'm sorry" She threw her arms around me, comforting me.

Now I felt really guilty. It was so long ago. "No Mom, it's my fault. I shouldn't have reacted that way...I should be over it..." my voice a monotone and I literally wanted to kick myself for acting miserable.

"Alright, well forget that. Have fun, Bella" She released me and smiled. I smiled the best I could just as yesterday morning.

"I'll try" I smirked

Once I got outside, I haled a taxi, and for once took the risk of taking a taxi in the city. I gave the taxi driver money and told him to keep the two dollar change. I didn't care; I wasn't getting much tonight anyway. The city lights passed my vision and a kind of hype started building up, I started to surprisingly become excited.

It was just a night out with my friends and that's all I have asked for a while. But I hope this wasn't some kind of trick blind date. Alice knew what happened but she never tried to set me up, but the way she was too excited.... No, Alice wouldn't do that, I felt guilty just for thinking of Alice that way

"Hey, we're here" The grouchy voice of the cabbie dragged me out of my train of thought.

"Thank you" I murmured and walked up to the brightly lit up Olive Garden.

As I walked up to the door my foot slipped a puddle. I gasped but a hand grabbed my elbow. I looked up to thank the stranger but my mouth slammed shut. He was incredibly handsome. His skin was almost my color, maybe a bit darker. His hair was a bronze neat mess. Freckles strayed over his cheeks and he had an amused smirk on face. And his eyes looked as if dark emeralds belonged inside them.

"Are you alright, Miss? You should be more be careful" He asked. His voice was incredible and I felt my heart stop. I had never had such a reaction to a man before.

I blinked a few times, my eyes drifting away from his so I could have my train of thought back. "Yes, thank you"

He just smiled and walked away. My breath came out in a huff. I hadn't realized I'd been holding my breath.

No, I would not fall in love again. Love gave you the power to crush someone and that's not happening again to me again.

I went up to the podium and the man working there looked faintly familiar. Blond hair covered his scalp, long but not enough to not see his blue eyes. He was tall and lean. The tag on his shirt indicated his name was Jasper. Then Rosalie's glare flashed in my mind. This man had Rosalie's features. But he had a light, polite smile on.

"Table for one?" He asked his voice soft and calm. He assumed I was alone.

"Actually, I'm here for Brandon Reservation?" I said, making it sound more like a question.

"Oh yes, Emmett's sister's friend, right this way" He gestured up the mini escalator.

"You know Emmett?" I asked. I knew Emmett knew a lot of people but he never told me about a waiter.

"Yeah, he's my old college roommate." He turned back and grinned at me.

I smiled back; it was as if it was automatic. Jasper seemed like a calm presence. "Oh that's cool" I said lamely.

We made it up the top of the escalator and he led us to the front of the restaurant, revealing beautiful Times Square. I grunted. Obviously Alice didn't listen to my 'don't go overboard' speech I gave yesterday.

"Bella!" She jumped out of her seat. Obviously I looked overdressed. A tight fitting red halter top covered her chest, along with leather pants. Her usual spiky hair was straightened out into a few curls. Makeup covered her face and she approached me and smiled. "Hey, hey" She gave me a quick hug and it seemed she didn't have to stretch like she usually did. I looked down and she was wearing very high black heels. Well, Alice would take any opportunity to get all gussied up.

Then Alice's eyes drifted to Jasper's as she bounced off of me. "Bye Jazz" her voice dropped a level trying to sound seductive. I saw Alice had a little crush.

"Bye" He said, clearing his throat, and going to back downstairs.

She turned over to me and raised her eyebrows up and down. I smirked and shook my head.

Alice laughed and led me to our table. Emmett was there, big and wearing a black shirt.

"Well if it isn't it, Bella? Did you get smaller?" He said, smirking. Emmett was always the jokester making fun of everything and everyone.

"No Em, you got bigger" I smirked back, ruining his joke.

"Ah, how I miss you and your terrible ways of comedy" He stood and caught my in a tight hug. I laughed until my air ways were cut off.

"Emmett...can't....BREATHE" I choked out the last of my air.

He just laughed and let me go. He smiled widely and gestured to the window seat next to Alice.

"Alice, you completely ignored my limits" I said, taking the seat next to her.

She smiled. "You deserve this, Bella. You needed a chance to get out and have some fun with us" She chirped.

"You try to hooking up with Emmett's friends while he makes fun of me. Yeah, very entertaining" I said sarcastically.

Alice just laughed as I grabbed a breadstick and nibbled. "Oh and get anything you want" She said.

"Alice!" I exclaimed but she just held up her hand and shook her head. I sighed sharply then looked at the seat across from me. It had a jacket occupying it and then I looked over at Emmett who had his on the back of his chair. "Hey, Em, you brought two jackets?" that's a silly thing to do.

"Uh no well-" Emmett said but being cut off by Alice's glare. I looked between them as they exchanged a look that meant they were hiding something.

"What's going on?" I asked, suspicious

"Well, Bella, you see my friend is having dinner with us as well" Emmett said slowly and distinctly.

"Oh...ok" That wasn't so bad. "I mean...it's not like your setting me up or anything, right?"

Both of them remained quiet. Emmett took a bite out of a breadstick. Alice suddenly had become occupied with her nails.

"Right?" I repeated.

Alice bit her lips and looked at me, her face ready to flinch. "Alice! I told you not to!" I cried. I wasn't ready for this. I had to leave.

As I started getting up, Alice's hand pulled down my arm. "Bella, I haven't set you up in three years and I've seen _a lot _of great guys for you but I never said anything because I knew your limits but please just give him a chance" She folded her hand in front of face and jutted out her lip in a pout.

"Alice, you've been getting your way a lot tonight, don't you think I should get mine for once?" I asked, folding my arms over my chest.

"Oh c'mon Bella! Just do me this one solid! He's perfect for you! I swear! Cross my heart and hope not to die!" She exclaimed, practically begging.

"Ugh" I put my finger to the bridge of my nose and squeezed it. "Why are you doing this to me?" I asked, helpless.

"Because I couldn't resist and couldn't stand seeing my best friend alone for so long" Alice said softly now.

"Hmph, fine Alice, you'll get your way, but I'm not promising _anything._" I told her. "Where is he anyway?" Maybe he bailed; a smile weaved through my lips.

"He went to his car, he forgot his wallet" Emmett's eyes drifted in the direction of the entrance. Then my confidence shrank. I sighed sharply, picked up a menu and started reading. It was hard to choose because everything was so expensive... My teeth bit down on my lip.

Then my mind went other places. How could Alice do this to me? Did she want me to get hurt again? I've just been forgetting how much anguish I was in. I didn't want to be backstabbed again even if he was 'perfect.'

"Oh there he is" Emmett said. I slowly slid the menu from my face and gasped. It was the same man who caught me when I tripped. Blood rushed to my cheeks and I looked down. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Alice smirk. I heard him approach the table and I looked up but he was looking Em.

"Edward, Bella, Bella, Edward" Emmett gestured and grinned.

Edward smiled softly and held out his hand. "Ah yes, the one from the outside of the restaurant. It's a pleasure" my heart skipped a beat and I swallowed the bile in my throat. I reached my hand over and he took mine. I felt some sort of energy fill me.

"Small world, huh?" My voice stumbled. We shook hands and he took his seat across from me.

"Wait, wait, wait, you two know each other?!" Alice spazed out.

"Only for like what? 10 seconds?" I smiled, attempting to joke

"Around there. Bella isn't very coordinated, is she?" Edward chuckled and I ignored his light jab. His chuckle like his voice was amazing especially when it wrapped around my name.

"Trust me, that's one of the first unattractive things you hear about her" Emmett snickered. Then I heard a hard thud beneath the table. "Ow" he complained and then glared at a smiling Alice. I pursed my lips, trying to hide my smile. Edward hid his smile as well and looked at the menu. Alice and I exchanged a glance; her eyes got wide and pointed them to Edward, I raised mine in annoyance. Awkwardness filled the silence. I just huffed and read my menu. Alice can be so pushy. She slapped her menu on the table.

"So, Edward, what do you do for a living?" Alice asked, trying to start conversation since I wasn't doing it.

He looked up and smiled, "Oh I work at a music store, selling guitars. Then on Saturday nights, I play at a little club"

That's when I got interested. "Really? What do you play?"

"Guitar and piano" He looked at me and I felt a thrill.

Before I could speak, Alice interrupted "Wow! What a coincidence! Bella, here, plays guitar as well!" I glowered at her while she sat there, grinning.

"Really? What kind?" His green eyes shimmered with interest.

I smiled, "Cutaway Dreadnought Acoustic, I'm not really good though"

He shrugged, "You'll get better just as long as you practice"

"Yeah, time is just something I don't have for that. I'm more of a song writer" I blurted out.

"Song writer?" His lips turned up into a crooked kind of smile

Did my body just burst to flames? I knew my face did. Alice elbowed me, gesturing for me to speak before making a fool of myself. "Yeah, I've been doing it since I was a kid" I tried to sound as nonchalant as possible. I looked over at Alice's grimace, knowing I failed at that.

"Yeah, I've been doing it for awhile" I smiled a tiny bit, unsure if he would like my answer. He grinned back, his eyes sparkling.

My phone suddenly buzzed. "Excuse me" I murmured, embarrassed. I flipped my phone open to see a text message from Alice

_"Don't you know how to flirt, Bella?! This is painful to watch!" _

I glowered at the phone, resisting turning my face to hers. I quickly texted:

_"No, I don't and no one said you had to watch me" _

I slapped my phone shut and sighed. Edward looked down from his menu. "Is something wrong?"

"My friends are annoying that's all" I looked at his amused face.

"Mhmmm...." Alice hummed so only I could hear. Her hands touched the keyboard of her phone and I just chewed a breadstick.

I might as well try and start conversation, "So, Edward, do you have any roommates or do you live alone?" I asked. Then I felt my neck heat up as he probably thought I was stalking him.

But he just smiled at my humiliating question, "I live alone, I prefer it anyway, I get more time to myself. Do you live alone?" He asked, smacking my question right back at me. He was good.

"Unfortunately no, I live with my parents. I'm trying to get my own apartment as soon as possible. I like being alone with my songs" Sometimes my voice would stumble over my words and my cheeks burned fire.

"It's always good to be alone with yourself but never too alone" He said, his smile fading a little.

I couldn't understand his reaction but I didn't ask. So I just said, "True"

My phone buzzed for the fifth time in my pocket. I sighed exasperatedly at Alice. I opened my phone

_"I'll show you how it's done" _

I looked over at her and she just sat there, smug.

Then Jasper came and took our orders. Alice didn't talk in her usual voice; she lowered it into a seductive purr. When Jasper asked what I wanted, I giggled my response out. Edward chuckled out his as well. Emmett was just plain embarrassed as he handed his menu back. Jasper looked at all of us, his eyes resting on Alice last. She winked at him and he shifted his weight uncomfortably and walked away.

"Really, Alice?" I asked her

"Really, Bella" She smiled and continued biting a breadstick.

"I'm sorry, Emmett" I told him, it must be harder to live with Alice than I thought.

His eyes just grew wide and he nodded, he knew what I was talking about.

"What are you guys talking ab- oh! That's mean!" Alice spazed out. I pursed my lips to keep from laughing.

Jasper came back and spun the salad. Alice was too angry to try and be flirtatious again. I thanked the lord in heaven.

He handed us plates. "Cheese?"

"Oh Come on, bro, you know me! Shake the hell out of that thing!" Emmett roared in laughter.

Edward and I started laughing as Jasper happily put cheese in the salad. Alice was still fuming and didn't protest the fat in it. She had her lips tight together, trying not to laugh.

As the night progressed, it was pretty nice. Edward was not very talkative but he did know how to put himself into a conversation. He was a very relatable person and I liked that. This didn't mean I'd go back to dating, but I did want to hang out with him more, not on dates, just friends. I had to admit; he was incredibly handsome and very much, as Alice would say, my "type." Although, I had to protect myself, I couldn't bear to be hurt again. When Alice turned to look at me, her pixie face crumpled a little, and then she turned back to her dinner. I sighed and ate my raviolis. The hot, tangy flavors of mushroom and pasta filled my mouth, making me forget my painful memories.

When I was done, I sipped my water and felt someone's eyes on me. I looked up to see Edward's eyes burning into mine. When he noticed I looked up, his face turned to the window. His cheeks grew a faint shade of pink. I couldn't help but smile. Even though I didn't want him to, I was actually flattered that Edward was interested in me. However I hoped he wasn't _too _interested, so much that I would break his heart. Mine has been mangled and stomped on enough and I couldn't bear to it to anyone else's.

The check came and Alice paid it, leaving a piece of paper inside the folder. She saw me as she gave the folder to Jasper and winked at me. I smiled and went inside my clutch to look for a tip. Then a small hand slapped mine.

"Ow!" I protested. My hand burned. Alice sure knew how to slap hard.

"What did I say about you not paying?" She said, raising her black eyebrows for emphasis.

"Oh c'mon, Alice. Its only 5 dollars." I shrugged.

She sighed sharply, giving up while Emmett chuckled at her.

Jasper came back, his face red. I put my fingers over my mouth to muffle my laughter. Alice really knew how to charm a man.

"Alright, sis, you can stop torturing poor, Jazzy." Emmett said, standing up, rustling on his jacket. I slid mine on as well.

"We should all hand out again sometime" I stated, smiling.

"Yeah, oooh! I know! We can all go to-" Alice started jumping up and down until I interrupted.

"For free, Alice. You know? Like I don't know my apartment? Or yours?" I told her, smirking.

"Ugh. No fun" She crossed her arms over her chest.

Emmett laughed as he mussed Alice's hair and she slapped his hand. He just laughed more and they walked towards the escalator.

Then Edward silently took his place at my side and walked with me. His face was expressionless. Did something happen? What did I do wrong? I bit my lip.

"Edward, are you alright?" I said looking up at.

His face came back to life as he looked down at me. He smiled gently "Yes, why?"

I felt my cheeks burn. "No reason, you just seemed...quite" I told him, hesitating on the last word.

To my surprise, he chuckled. "Many people think that. I'm not used to being around people. I have a lot of time to myself" his voice grew soft at the end.

We entered the escalator and I looked at him, a step behind me. Sympathy grew in my heart for him. He must have lost his parents or something. My teeth bit harder on my lip. In an odd way, Edward and I were alike. We had both lost people we cared for.

"Well you know..." I started to say but I stopped myself. What was I doing? "We could hang out. I mean, if you want" Hanging out. No date. He should see that on my face.

His green orbs grew wide for a moment then they grew warm. "Sure, of course" He smiled and nodded.

I smiled back. I'd hang out with Edward. For the first time in years, I'd actually wanted to hang out with a guy. He seemed like the kind of person I could be friends with. I didn't have many guy friends (except for Emmett of course).

We made it outside into the cold chill of a typical night in New York. I heard Edward cling his keys together. He pressed a button and a car beeped. I looked over and my mouth fell to the ground. Sitting there on the sidewalk was a bright, shiny Volvo. It was probably a model for next year.

"Nice ride" I whispered.

"Thank you" He chuckled. "Do you want a ride home?" He asked gesturing to the car.

My heart jumped inside my throat. I hardly knew him but he was offering me a ride. My common sense screamed no to going with a stranger then my heart beat hard against my chest, saying to go. I bit my lip.

"Its okay, I can take a cab" I said softly, hoping he wasn't too offended.

But Edward just smiled and shrugged. "Alright, well...I'll see you again sometime, Bella" He said gently.

I nodded, my neck bursting into flames. He gently took my hand and kissed it. Suddenly, the rest of my body was on fire and the air surrounding us was filled with a high kind of energy. He smiled crookedly and left for his car.

My legs shook a little, and I held onto a nearby lamppost for support. A love-drunken sigh escaped my lips. The silver car disappeared down the street.

Well, there was one thing I knew for sure, Edward is someone I would not forget. Alice came over and reached up to lay her elbow on my shoulder. She looked up at me and smirked. "I'm good" she emphasized.

I laughed and shoved her off but then put one arm around her shoulder, as we walked back into the night.


	3. Chapter 3: A growing Obsession

Golden Hero

Chapter 3: A growing obsession

***Anyone 13 and under should not read as far ad Edward bringing Bella to her apartment. The end will not be appropriate for that age group***

The week after the dinner progressed slowly. Each tick of the clock on our wall felt like an eternity. It seemed I had nothing to do at home or work. Rosalie hated me more every time I stepped through the door of the boutique. Alice became less peppy as we crawled through the week. And worst of all, Edward Mason stayed inside my mind the entire time with his green emeralds staring at me everywhere I went; a constantly growing obsession.

My fist slammed down on the counter I was putting clothes on; a constantly growing _crush_. A growl escaped my lips. I _loathed_ that word. I always did. It showed my weakness. It showed my heart still beat for others, crumpled and stomped on as it was. I promised I would never love or even like anybody again. I _vowed_ myself that!

I felt Alice's arm on my shoulder. "Bell? You okay?"

I put my head in my hands. I thought I was strong enough. I thought I could handle being alone for my life. I know I don't need anybody. I learned that lesson a long time ago, a very long time ago. A shiver went up my spine as I tried hard not to remember that night. I don't want to remember how I lost myself. I don't want to remember how alone I was. I don't want to remember _any_ of that. His fire burned stronger for her than me. His love shined brighter for her than me. His heart was _hers_.

My hands dug to the roots of my hair so much it hurt. It was nothing compared to the ghostly agony of my memories. I couldn't let Edward deal with a broken heart such as mine. He deserved someone a lot better. He deserved someone how knew how to love.

"I shouldn't have set you up with Edward. It was wrong. I knew you weren't ready but somehow…I don't know, I thought you were ready. I'm sorry, Bella. I'm so sorry, It's all my fault you're upset…" I looked up to see Alice's heartbreaking expression.

I sighed. Alice was really going to take all the blame on herself? "It's not entirely your fault. It's mine too. I should be over him, I should be able to _do_ this. I-" My voice was building up but Alice silenced me with a shake of her head.

"Your head says no…" She said, her brown eyes burned into mine with seriousness yet sincerity. "…but your heart says yes."

That was an argument I would surely lose. In fact, I would agree with it. Listen to your heart, not your head. How original…

Alice _had_ brought up my spirits. She was back to her perky self, chatting away. I put clothes away and let her voice sooth everything else in my mind. Slowly, I felt Edward disappear from my head and a huge weight was lifting from my shoulder. _Just forget about him. _I chanted to myself occasionally. It worked. She even invited me to her place. Charlie and Renee were going out to a friend's for the night. Emmett and Jasper would be at Alice's place too. She was excited to see Jasper again. I chuckled at her.

"We can make cookies!" _and look at Jasper _"We can eat the cookies!" _with Jasper _"We can paint each other's nails!" _watching Jasper _"We can have pillow fights!" _as Jasper watches _"We'll have so much fun!" _with Jasper_. She had not mentioned Jasper but I could see the excitement for him in her eyes.

I smirked and laughed at her as we finished up untangling jewelry. All this jewelry was beautiful, so many different colors; Sapphire, gold, ruby, topaz. They were all luminous, catching the light in every angle they had. I untangled the last one. This one really caught my eye however. The band was covered in little diamond squares. These led to a large tear-drop emerald. It was beautiful. I held it up to my face for a closer look. The crystal was cut perfectly revealing its true beauty. Bands of diamonds hugged the stone. I concentrated more on it. Suddenly, there were two emeralds. _"I'll see you again sometime, Bella"_ Edward had said to me. There he was, in my imagination again after I thought I finally banished him.

"Pretty, isn't it?" Alice's chin rested on my shoulder. I didn't flinch. She always tried to scare me.

"I guess" I sighed "Too expensive, even with employee discount" I started for the backroom while Alice studied the necklace. "Don't buy it!" I chided her. I heard her sigh sharply. I never let her buy anything for me. That dinner was too much last week.

I grabbed handbag and Alice's purse signed out, and left with Alice for her apartment.

Alice's apartment was bigger than mine but not much larger. The kitchen and living room were not divided by a wall or bar just simply tiles. The living room was on the East side of the room, kitchen on the West. Then a hallway faced opposite of the front door. Three doors were in it; Alice's room, Emmett's room, and a bathroom. The ceilings, however, were higher than mine, nearly reaching a second story. A large window was on the East side of the main room, revealing a beautiful view of the Empire State Building. I wish I could live in a nice place such as this.

She opened the door to find Emmett and Jasper on the couch watching TV.

"Bella!" Emmett yelled, as if I were 100 yards away.

"Hi, Em' I waved and put my coat on a nearby chair.

Alice plopped down on the tan couch next to a nervous Jasper.

"Hi Jasper!" She exclaimed, resting her head on his shoulder.

"Alice" He nodded to her.

I smiled. They were cute together. Their personalities seemed so different yet they were perfect. Jasper seemed amused by Alice's hyper perkiness. Surely enough they'd be going out soon. She shut her eyes and snuggled closer to him. He seemed to strain himself shyly.

"Don't just stand there! Sit!" Emmett cheered for me, patting a spot next to him. I grinned and sat next to him. He noggied my hair and I slapped the back of his head. He laughed hard. I laughed at well. Emmett is the big brother I wish I had. He knew, like Alice, exactly how to bring my spirits up.

Emmett and Jasper had put on a scary movie which was perfect for Alice to make her move. I hugged my knees to my chest and waited for the movie to end which I didn't find very scary at all. It seemed as though Jasper had Alice's attention for the night. I sighed.

Alice let out a little shriek. I looked over to see what had happened but she was just hugging Jasper's waist, while his arm had gone over her shoulder. "That was scary!" She seemed to squeeze harder. I choked in a laugh, as well did Emmett.

The movie went on just like that. Emmett would make fun of the actors, sets, and everything else that was fake. I'd laugh and agree with him. Alice seemed to cuddle closer to Jasper so much I think she would be on his lap by the end of the movie.

"Well, that was retarded" Emmett snorted and changed the channel to a news station.

"You can say that again" I muttered.

"That was so scary!" Alice exclaimed.

"Alice, could you please stop using my friend as your own personal play toy?' Emmett asked, irritated.

"Yes, _please_" I emphasized.

She huffed and let go of Jasper.

Then someone knocked at the door. I raised an eyebrow. "Did you invite others, Emmett?" I asked. It was a bit late.

"Ah no…" Emmett said, trying to be innocent.

Alice stood at my side of the couch and laid her elbow on my shoulder. I looked up at her and she shrugged. I looked at my watch and it was nearly midnight. Maybe Alice could let me stay…I look down at my hands…I had work tomorrow.

I heard Emmett open the door and suddenly Alice had a hand on my shoulder, squeezing it. I looked up at her, my eyebrows furrowed.

"Hey buddy! What are you doing here at this late hour?" Emmett exclaimed to our visitor.

"I was just sitting at home then I remembered, you owe me my CD back. So I came over" said the voice.

I knew that voice; that soft, velvet, musical voice. My heart jumped into my chest and I let Alice pull me up and hopefully out of the room.

"Bro, your timing is so weird. I'll go get it" Emmett laughed and walked passed me and Alice.

Alice tugged me to the mouth of the hallway. My heart screamed _stop! _ I stopped. My mind was slowly pulling me from the room. _He was the cause of your stress this week_. It had said. I supposed he was. I'd successfully had gotten him out of my head today and now he was here. I began to let Alice tug me. _But he didn't do anything. It was all me. _My heart spoke out. That was also true. I stopped once more. Edward didn't do anything but make me feel good. I knew I wanted to get to know him more. Suddenly, I was stuck between following Alice and walking to Edward. It was like I was being tugged in opposite directions. Then I remembered what Alice had said and what I had thought earlier that day. _Listen to your heart, not your head_. I gulped.

Alice tugged on my hand. "C'mon Bella!" She whispered, frustrated with my back and forth decisions. Alice was simply trying to make up for what she did. She didn't do anything wrong, though. She did what was exactly right.

"Alice" Edward's voice was a few feet behind me. I froze completely.

"Hi Edward" Alice said impatiently. I could feel his warmth on my back. It made me want to shiver. I slowly loosened my hand from Alice's.

"Bella" He said softly. I remembered his face was just as good as his voice. I needed to turn around however my mind still controlled my body. I had to protect myself. I can't fall for anyone ever again. Never. The need to turn around and seem him was so irresistible and now I didn't have Alice as a safe harbor. I cleared my throat.

"Hello Edward" I said quietly.

"Well me and Bella will be going now" Alice said quickly just after I finished my greeting. She slapped her hand on my arm and tugged but I resisted. I had to see Edward.

Alice sighed sharply. I gently took her hands off of my arm and turned around. Edward had a soft smile on his lips. His face still as good as I remember it, maybe better. His dark ivory skin was practically glowing. It was as if his positive energy was being transferred to me. His warmth washed into my face. I saved his eyes for last. The green emeralds that were so much more beautiful than the necklace shined.

I felt a strange sense of relief curse through me. I was happy he was good and healthy. Which was bad, very bad.

"How are you?" He asked, gently. He must have seen my weakness around him

I nodded my head side to side "Pretty good. How about you?"

Alice groaned and left the room. I'd apologize to her late about the confusion I was putting her through.

A door slammed closed and one opened. Emmett came up behind me, giving Edward the CD over my head. "Here you go, man"

'Thanks" He said, taking it and turning it over in his hands.

Emmett looked in Alice's direction. "Wonder what's with her?"

I waved my hand at him. "you don't even want to know" I sighed "I don't think she'll even come out for the night…"

Emmett slapped his hand on my back so hard it made me gasp. "Then you should be going home, Bells!"

"I'll walk you down…" Edward trailed off, looking into my eyes. My heart was in my throat. "…if you'd like that is" his cheeks were a shade of pink again. I tried to hide my smile as much as possible. I was finally getting what I wanted yet I was terrified at the same time.

"You should, it's a dangerous city out there" Emmett said, grinning.

I sucked in a breath, knowing I'd lose to my heart either way. "Sure"

Edward's smile became more dominant as he gestured me to go first through the door.

"Bye, Em!" I called over my shoulder. Then I totally had forgotten Jasper was still in the room.

I looked over at Jasper then back at Edward. "One second" I told him and went over to Jasper.

"See you later, Jasper" he had not moved from the couch.

"Bye, Bella. Have a nice night" He said with a polite smile. Although, I could see his eyes were sad.

"You know, Alice could really use some company. I think she'd be happy to see you" I whispered to him, a smile on my lips. I turned back to Edward without another look behind me. I could see Jasper liked Alice very much.

"Bye, Bella!" Emmett yelled in my ear and caught me in one of his famous bear hugs.

"….! Can't…br…eath…e…Emm…ett!" I choked out.

He laughed and pushed me to Edward. He smirked at Emmett and put on hand on the small of my back. His skin was so warm…

He led me down the hallway silently. I, however, felt no awkwardness. I felt gentleness in the air. A comfortable feeling overpowered me. It was unlike anything I had ever felt before. Part of me –most of me- wanted Edward to extend his hand to my waist, hold me to his side and never let go but then there was another part of me- a very small part now- was constantly reminding me of how I was hurt, how it would happen again if I had a boyfriend again.

We made it to the elevator and Edward reached his hand over my waist to push the button. I felt his head brush my upper back, his hot breath wash onto my neck. I resisted wincing. How does he _do _that? And why was I falling for it?

Luckily, when we got in, _I _pushed the button to go downstairs and grunted. Edward moved away and leaned against the railing of the elevator. I let out a sigh of relief. My temptation for him went down as he moved away. I however still looked at his face and his eyes were unfocused, in space…

The _ding ding _of the elevator allowed me to look away and walk out into the lobby. It was quiet; maybe one or two people were there and then one person was at the reception desk.

Edward walked beside me until we were outside. Sudden cold air burst my bare arms grew goose bumps. I shivered, looked up at the sky and groaned. Drops of rain began to prattle my head. I have to walk home in _this_?

"Bella" Edward's voice pulled me away from the sky. "I can give you a ride home. I live right down the block. I can get my car and drive you" His eyes were worried.

Drive home with _Edward? _I suddenly remembered a week ago. _"Do you want a ride home?" _He had asked. I had declined but now there was no doubt. I would say yes no matter how much I groaned and whined about it. I sighed and looked into his green eyes.

"I hope not to be a bother" I told him sheepishly. I felt like a burden even through all my heartache.

"Of course not" He grinned at my acceptance of something from him finally.

He led me down the sidewalk. Very few streetlights lit up the place so it was pretty dark out. I shivered more, rubbing my arms. Rain padded against my skin like tiny ice particles. I looked over at Edward who was looking at me with concern in his eyes. I looked forward not meeting those emeralds.

Suddenly, two warm hands placed a warm coat on my shoulders. My shivers already began to cease. I looked over at Edward again and saw he had a plain white T-shirt on, his jacket now on my shoulders.

"T-thanks" I told him

"You look like a soaked little cat"

I laughed softly. "I felt like one too…but you're going to catch a cold" I began pulling the jacket off.

Edward cautious caught my hand and placed it back on my chest. My breathing hitched. He was so soft…so warm…so good. "I'll be fine. You looked like you were going to catch a cold." He was so careful with his movement, as if he knew how sensitive I was to the touch.

I smiled softly at him. "Thank you" I said sincerely. Not only was I thanking him for his jacket but for his cautious, caring nature for me.

We smiled at each other until I felt blush on my cheeks and looked away. I pulled the coat over my shoulders and I could _smell _him. He smelled amazing. It was a natural smell; no cologne could compare. It brought back that comfortable feeling from going down the hall.

Before we knew it, Edward was clinking his keys around to beep his Volvo.

He helped me before helping himself. Once in, the first thing he did after turning the car on was turn on the heater.

"Let's see if we can get it a little warmer in here" He murmured, the car purring to life. I explained to him where I lived and he nodded, taking the quickest route. It seemed as though he wanted me home as much as I did. Did Edward really not want me around as much I thought he did? Somehow that came as a relief and nightmare at the same time.

I sucked in a breath of Edward's scent and felt the automatic relief refresh me. I ignored the stabbing of pain and relief in my heart and laid my head back in the leather seat.

"Is your offer for us to hang out still valid?" He asked, cautious

I looked over at him, my fears of his rejection gone. My heart sprang. "Yes, it is" I agreed all too quickly, not allowing myself to think of the consequences of what I was doing.

He smiled and nodded to me.

We didn't speak again. He drove fast but swiftly through the city but it felt like we were crawling. The city, its lights, and its people seemed to disappear around me. I saw nothing out those windows but darkness. Edward had seemed to be my shining light, my sun breaking through the darkness of the mystery of night.

We arrived at my apartment building and he insisted on walking me in. I was sure letting a lot of things slip tonight. I tried to keep the grudging emotion from crossing my face.

Edward walked silent but close to my side up to the apartment. He perhaps an inch away from me and I felt his heat radiate off his bare skin. By the time we made it to the door of my apartment, I was sweating. I took his jacket off, trying to keep my hands even, and gave him it back,

"Thanks and thanks for the ride" I murmured and forced a smile.

"It was my pleasure", he whispered, not wanting to break this very peaceful moment.

I nodded and went to go to the door but it felt as if my feet were nailed to the ground. I had to go to the door but I was held in my place, I couldn't even turn my head. The truth was, I didn't _want_ to move. I didn't want to move away from him. When would I see him again? He was still so much of a mystery to me.

His eyes stared deeply into mine. It was if I could feel what he was feeling by seeing what's in his eyes. I felt his anticipation. I felt his fear. I felt his confidence. I felt his love. I sucked in a breath of him only making me drown more in this moment. But his eyes shined. They were even glowing. I tried to turn again but still didn't.

Slowly, I saw his vanilla colored arm come up to my eyes. My heart jumped inside my chest and I couldn't breath. No. I couldn't allow this to happen. I couldn't. I _had _to protect myself. But I still couldn't _move_! My eyes grew wide and his hand came close to my face. His warmth was on my skin before the tips of his fingers gently brushed my cheek. When his hand connected to my face, I felt _everything_. _Everything. _I could feel my sorrow, heartbreak, happiness, cautiousness, frustration, love, anger. Yet I wanted to grab his hand and pull his palm to cover my cheek. My hand came up to his.

Suddenly, a high pitched scream burst from my apartment. I gasped and cold replaced the place were Edward's fingers once were.

Now I could move as I swung the door open and I saw the most shocking thing I'd ever seen in my life. Then _I _screamed.

"_MOM!_"

My mother, my dear, sweet, caring, selfless, mother was laying on the ground. She was covered in blood and bruises. She coughed on the ground and moaned. And there my father stood, above her, his hand still in a fist when it had connected with Renee's face.

Anger –no, fury- filled me. I wasn't afraid. I was beyond furious. How could Charlie do this? I knew he wasn't a fan of life but why, _why_, did he take it out on my mother. How could he beat her so violently? How could he do this to her? Right now, I didn't care about any of those answers. I bolted for Charlie, my hand already in a fist.

"Bella!" I heard Edward scream behind me. I ignored him as my fist slammed in my father's cheek. I made my other hand a fist and slammed it onto the opposite side of his face.

"You mad, sadistic, heartless _bastard!_" I screamed into his face and slapped him, making a loud _smack._

I heard him growl and suddenly all my anger evaporated. Fear froze my heart as well as the rest of my body. My breaths became shorter. Charlie's face was full of anger. His eyes dark pits of what used to be my father. His eyes were bloodshot. He was drunk. I lost all of my love and respect for this man in front of me. He was no longer my father. All I had was Renee.

I heard loud quick footsteps. Charlie grabbed me by the neck and cut off my air ways. I choked, trying to break his hold. The room was becoming dizzy. Charlie's fist now slammed into my face. He punched me again and again.

"BELLA!" Edward's voice…

Charlie punched me constantly. Emotional and physical pain combined.

All I felt fading was warmth. Then I succumbed to my mind and everything went black.


	4. Chapter 4: Clearing of the Clouds

Kristin Marie 3

Golden Hero Chapter 4

Clearing of the Clouds

Voices were rolling around inside my head. All of them were fuzzy, incoherent. Everything else was black; Pure darkness. I felt pain in both my cheeks and intense pain on my neck yet I couldn't find my hands to examine myself. I wanted to scream but I couldn't find my mouth either.

Slowly, excruciatingly slowly, the voices became more clear. However more pain was returning to my face, neck, slowly more pain was retreating to all over my body. My leg felt as if it were snapped in half. Agony was in the veins of my arms. They'd been twisted and mangled until I knew they were either off or about to be. None of that was compared to the anguish inside my chest. My heart beat slow and uneven, most of all broken. My family was broken. What would happen to Charlie? Where would I live? Where was and what happened to Renee?

_Renee. _My mother,My best friend. I felt imaginary tears run down my damaged face. _Please, _I pled to whoever would listen, _please, let her live! _I screamed. Without Renee, I don't know what I'd do. She has raised me, even given me a home when I could have my own. She's a perfect guardian angel sent down from heaven just for me.

The voices were clear as day in my head. It sounded like it was a crime scene. I could hear all different types of voices and sounds. Footsteps raced by my head. Things were being tossed the floor. I could hear metal clicking together. Handcuffs.

"Please" That was the voice I knew all too well. Edward. He sat near me. Close.

"I'm doing my very best, son" An unfamiliar but very attractive voice said and I heard more rustling.

I couldn't move my limbs without feeling pain though. I tried twitching my eyelids; they didn't hurt as much as my other injuries but I could move them better than anything. Slowly, painfully, I opened my eyes. Faces were blurred and light in my vision.

"Isabella Swan?" One white and yellow shape spoke. That was the one with the attractive voice. "Can you hear me?"

I didn't feel my lips move, but plenty of more pain entered my face. "Renee" I needed to know she was okay. I had to.

"She's been transferred to the hospital" It said.

Relief overshadowed my pain. Renee was okay.

Something clicked and a light was shined in my face. I groaned. It hurt. But my vision did clear up and I saw Edward and the man staring down at me. Edward had the most anguished expression on. His green eyes had lost their glow…shadows were painted under them. They were like the inside of a tomb. Before I could ask anything, I felt pain in my cheeks. I groaned and lifted my hand,

Edward caught my hand. "Bella, no" He whispered softly of me. His voice lost its music.

"Her vitals seem to be coming back to normal" The man took my hand from Edward's. It was freezing. Had he stuck his hands in ice or something? I got a good look at his face. It was so pale…but that's not what made me gape. He was beautiful. He was bright as well. It's like he had sucked Edward's glow only to add it to his. Blonde hair was combed neatly on his head. He could probably replace any Hollywood actor.

The light was too strong, I felt it pulling me out of consciousness and to the relief of dreams but I had so much more to learn. I had to stay awake. I looked over at Edward. He was still agonized. The man had dropped my hand so I put it back into Edward's, willing his warmth to go to his eyes again. He squeezed my hands however, his face did not change.

"I'm okay" My voice croaked. My throat ached. My other hand went to my neck and I could feel the bruises on it. What had Charlie done to me? I flinched. That was the first time I had thought of my backstabbing father.

If I thought Edward was in pain before now it looked like he was on fire. I felt my own face crumple. "I'm okay, I promise" I whispered.

He hesitated, his eyes re-igniting their flame. They were furious. "You better be" His anger confused me but I was happy to see him alive again. I felt a smile weave on my lips. I ignored the pain it caused.

"Edward" I heard a different but familiar voice. "He's in custody. Good work, son"

Edward bowed his head slightly.

I saw a figure come up behind us. I focused my eyes onto a middle-aged police officer. He had black hair sticking out of his cap. His blue eyes grave. I did know this person.

"Officer Jones" I murmured. He was one of Charlie's best friends. I've known him since I was a baby.

He knelt down beside of Edward.

"How you feeling, kid?" He asked, hurting.

"I'm fine" I lied.

Her smirked half-heartedly. "You got a lot of punch in you"

"I wish" I whispered, trying not to remember this whole situation. Then I remember him saying _Good work_ to Edward. What had Edward done? How much danger had he put himself in? My heart ached with guilt and terror.

"Edward, what did you do to him?"

His eyes had dimmed and he hesitated.

Officer Jones took over the situation. "First, he pried you off of Charlie and he sprint to the door, he didn't even think about fighting Charlie – good idea too. But Charlie plunged down and grabbed Edward's ankle." I flinched, imaging the scene too perfectly. "You slipped from his hands and onto the floor. Edward fell onto his chest-knocked the wind out of him. Charlie then threw him out of the way only to get to you so he could take your arms and swing you into the wall. That's when Edward finally got up and caught him in a choke-hold." I tried to keep myself from wincing at the pain Edward and I had endured. "He got Charlie unconscious, then he called us" He eyes were saddened now. I covered my face and tears. So many emotions had filled me. But most of all I felt betrayed. All this time, I thought Charlie was helping us- giving me a roof over my head, food on the table. And then there was Edward. He risked his life for me. He could have been killed. I felt hot tears against my hands. It killed me inside to hear of him hurt.

"We lost your heartbeat for a bit but you came around before we could shock it back"

I winced and uncovered my face. The first thing I saw was Edward shaking. I'd never seen so much fear in him.

"She could have been dead" Edward whispered, ignoring my presence.

"Yes" I agreed and he lifted his face. It was wet. It crushed my heart to see him that way. "But I wasn't" I said simply "That's all that matters…"

I squeezed his hand with all my might, again willing that glow to return to his eyes. It didn't. I sighed, giving up. I looked over at my practical uncle. "What's going on with Charlie? Is he being arrested?"

Jones hesitated and nodded. This was so hard for him to go through, his best friend and companion being taken away. "He's being charged with Domestic Violence. He's going to jail with a five thousand dollar bail" Well I certainly wasn't going to bail him out. Let him stay there! I felt hatred ignite in my heart. Let him suffer. Let him go through the pain I'm going through! Please give him worse than that.

"Bella, I need you to calm down for me" Carlisle said, his unusual eyes strict.

"S-sorry" I shivered.

"It's time to move you anyway. I'll have to finish the examination at the hospital" He roped his stethoscope around his neck and gestured to Edward. I looked over at Edward confused as he slid his arms under me, pulling me up. It felt as if the breath had been knocked out of me. This is the most Edward has touched me. I wanted to squirm and demand to be let down but I knew it was the right thing to sit tight.

I felt my body press against his, I wringed my arm under his so I could support myself and my ear conveniently laid against his heart. It beat fast and vibrant. I also felt his breathing. It was uneven and still shaken. Mechanically, I moved my hand back and forth on his back.

The doctor and Jones walked ahead of us saying there was a gurney waiting downstairs. I was too occupied comforting Edward. How long would he be like this? Would he ever go back to the way he was? Bright and glowing?

For a fleeting second I thought of _him_ and how he treated me- when he broke my heart…Did I look like this to everyone? Dark and empty? Just hearing his heart made me want to rip mine out. How could I torture everyone like this? How could I do this? I have had to have seen a light in my depression sometime. I looked up at Edward. It seems my light had burnt out. I don't know where I could go with Edward. I could be his friend. My heart yearned for more. But I couldn't hurt myself again. I couldn't let anyone around me suffer with me again. God forbid anything happen to him.

We made it to the elevator and Jones asked how Edward was holding up. I immediately looked up and noticed red, blue, and purple on his right cheek. I could feel a mortified expression on my face. Another reason my anger and hatred for Charlie!

"What did he do?" I asked fiercely.

Edward didn't look at me. "I'm fine"

"What did he do?" I asked again, trying very hard not to snap at him.

He sighed but I could see emotion returning to his eyes. "I hit the floor hard on the fall when Charlie grabbed my ankle, that's all" He shrugged as if the incident was nothing. "We need to worry about you right now" His green eyes bored into mine. I could care less about myself while he's hurt because of me! My teeth mashed together on my cheek.

"You can check Edward out while we're at the hospital, can't you, Carlisle?" Jones asked of the blonde. I calmed.

"Absolutely" he murmured, looking at Edward's face. I began to feel uncomfortable especially with his unusual gold eyes.

We made it to the bottom floor and many faces were there- most I didn't recognize. A huge crowd stood in our way and Jones fought, making room for us to get through the frantic group. People loved it when drama and fights occurred. I guess because it stopped their boring daily routines of life. I hated that.

Before I knew it I was placed on a gurney and being driven to the hospital.

Once again I felt voices being rolled around inside my head. All I could recognize but I want to move. One, I'm too afraid of how much it will hurt and two, do I really want to open my eyes? Do I want to face reality when I can lay comfortably in the silence of night? I don't want to believe any of this happened. I don't want to live through it. My life is going to change and I loathed that. I wanted my mom. Not the way a child wants her mother but the way a friend needs her best friend.

I prayed again for Renee to be alright because I couldn't take care of her right now. I needed to put the pieces back together before I could get to Renee's own broken puzzle. I need to make things clear. I need to know what's going to happen no matter how much more broken, shattered, and pathetic my life was. I wanted to stay away. I wanted to leave and start new. I knew I couldn't do that though. I have so many things to worry about- Edward, Renee, Alice…

Alice. That was the first time in what felt like forever I remembered my other best friend. I needed her smile. It would help me put myself together certainly. I could see her petite face. Her giant brown eyes excited as she yelled for me to catch up with her and her ridiculous antics. If I could, I'd smile. I'd grin and dance along with her through the park and playground, through the halls of school, through the madness called New York City. I'd smile, I'd laugh, I'd be happy.

"How much longer?" and just like that, I heard Alice. I heard my sister. Finally, I could release my painful grip on silence- finally. If I could sit here in my blissful moment forever, I sure would. I felt relief cursor through me. I felt a smile on my face as my eyes started to flutter open. The first thing I noticed was someone holding my hand. To my right, Alice squeezed my fingers. "Hey sleepy head" She grinned and ironically, throughout the entire trauma I'd been through, I was able to laugh.

"Hey" My voice was clear.

"How are you feeling?" Edward was on my other side, his hands in fists on his lap. How much pain had I put him through? How much? That question needed to be answered.

"I'm fine" I had spoken too soon. My jaw ached and I tried very hard not to wince. I tried to get up but Alice pushed me down and shook her head. This is when I first saw where I was. A beeping came from next to Alice- a heart monitor. An IV needle was stuck inside my arm- I swallowed my nausea for that. The bed I lay on was lumping and uneven. The walls were all white, a bland paneling. The clock indicated it was nine-thirty in the morning. The sun shined out the window.

"How long have I been here?" I asked, amazed I'd even slept.

"Since last night" Alice murmured, "I just found out a few hours ago"

"I'm sorry" I whispered

Alice looked at me with wide eyes. "What are _you _sorry for?"

"Worrying you. I should have-"

"Should have what? Not come home?" Alice snorted.

She was right. If I hadn't come home, god forbid what would have happened to Renee…

"Renee! Where is she?" I demanded of Alice, ignoring the pain in my throat.

"She…" Alice bit her lip.

No, No it couldn't possibly be. Why? Why Renee? Why? I was on the verge of tears as I took my free hand and clutched Alice's shoulder. "Please" I begged.

"She was transferred to a trauma center in Albany. She has a serious concussion" Edward said, no emotion in his voice.

My hands shook. Renee wasn't dead. Thank god. Thank you. Thank you so much. But she wasn't out of the woods yet. I looked at Edward. "Bad?"

"Pretty bad" He choked and sadly enough, he was telling the truth. I could tell for his face was very sincere.

I felt my face fall into my hands. I began to cry. I felt Alice's arms wrap around my body as her hands stroked my hair. I felt the pain of loneliness and darkness wrap inside me again. I couldn't live without my mother with me. I don't know what I could do without her. I cried on Alice's shoulder and she gently rubbed circles on my back. Edward remained in his no-touch phase and I highly respected that.

After a few minutes, I calmed and Alice released me. "Bella, look at me" Alice said. Her eyes were intense as she stared straight at me. "Renee will be okay. She's a strong person. I bet whatever happens to her, she wants you to go on with your life with no worries of her. She will be fine" Alice said, choked up. It looked as if she was trying to convince herself that that was the truth. Alice loved Renee as her own mother.

Then I heard someone else enter the room- Carlisle. His tag indicated his last name was Cullen. He was as radiant as ever but his face was solemn. He walked to my bed, nodding at Alice and Edward. They nodded back.

"So, Miss. Swan. How are you feeling?" He asked, checking my the machines and then starting recording their readings.

"Fine." I said. I didn't want any trouble.

"You're bruised up pretty badly. But the good news is that nothing is broken. No head trauma, nothing. You were very lucky." He mused and smiled but I could see the remorse in his eyes. Not for me but for my mother. "I think you should take it easy this week. Your legs are bruised the worst, so take a cab or get a ride from a friend if you need to go somewhere. Stay in bed and take prescription medicine." Carlisle ripped a paper from his clipboard and handed it to me. His hand caught mine. It was still cold, like last night. How peculiar.

"Thank you. When can I go home?" I said trying to keep my voice even. His eyebrows furrowed and he hesitated. "What?"

"Well, Bella, Since Charlie is going to be in jail and Renee is remaining in the hospital, no one is living there-"

"I can live on my own"

"I know that but with your salary…"

Alice cut in. "You can't sustain living there, Bella" She squeezed my hand again.

"Then what's going to happen?" I panicked. I couldn't do this. I couldn't move out of this life when I was just settling in. Then again, Mom and Charlie wouldn't be there. I would be alone all the time. Most of the time, I was okay with loneliness, but I couldn't be haunted by the memories that lie in that apartment. My stomach churned as I saw my only decision.

"You're going to have to move in with a friend until final decisions are made" Carlisle continued.

I looked over at Alice who was now tearing. Alice couldn't let me stay with her? "I'm sorry Bella," She put hers hands on her eyes, hiding her tears.

"Why? Why can't I stay with you?" I choked.

"My Dad's been really tight on money and I don't have another room. I don't want you to be on the couch if you're going to live with me for awhile. I'd want you in your own bed in your own room"

"Well obviously, that's not going to happen! Please, Alice!" I begged of her and she just shook her head, tears of guilt running down her face. Then I realized what I was asking of her. I was asking for her money. I was asking for her home. I was asking way too much of her. I'm trying to steal from her if I was being honest. I felt my own tears run down my face. Carlisle murmured on how we should speak of this later as my head throbbed. I ignored him as I cried into Alice and she cried with me.

Finally, Edward spoke words I'd never thought I would hear from a boy. "You could move in with me…" His voice was soft but an ever so light symphony.

I looked up at him and he looked like he was about to fall to his death.

Move in with Edward? Move in with someone I had just met? Someone I may have other feelings for? I was absolutely speechless…


	5. Chapter 5: A new routine

Golden Hero Chapter 5: new routine

No. That would was shouted, screamed throughout my mind multiple times. I wasn't sure how long it lasted, surely enough time of Alice to snap her fingers in front of my face.

"You don't have much of a choice, Bell" I didn't hear her then.

How could I be left with this choice? There had to be another possible way. There just had to be. I felt like I had to cry…but I couldn't. In fact, I didn't feel the harmful consuming depression I should be descending into. I was shocked, indeed but not upset or numb. I looked down at my hands in the covers, fisted, knuckles white. Slowly, I relaxed them and sucked in deep breaths.

I took a minute looking at my choices. Charlie's in jail, Renee's got surgery and won't be out of recovery till who knows when. Alice can't afford for me to stay decently. Edward, a man I've hardly known for a week, has offered his place to stay. Edward or the streets…warm or cold…alone or not…

"I'll do it" I didn't tell myself to speak my thoughts but they did. Alice took me in for another hug. Edward, again, didn't bother…

I was released from the hospital the next day with prescription meds I needed to take every day. Alice helped me pack half my stuff into her car. Edward had the other half in his car. We followed him to his apartment.

Alice stopped abruptly and flipped someone off; bringing me out of the peaceful trance I had carefully put myself in. After she was done cussing at the other driver and she slammed on the gas.

"Thanks, Alice" I said grimly.

"Sorry, Bella. Sometimes I can't help myself." She shrugged.

We made it to a maroon colored apartment building. Edward parked in front of us, keys in hand. My heart slammed against my chest so hard I needed to catch my breath. Surely, I'd be staying here awhile and I wasn't particularly fond of that. Alice opened the trunk of her blue Toyota and got my things. Suddenly, there was a tap on my window, I jumped. Edward was peeking through; his green eyes had life in them. How come I didn't notice that earlier? He opened the door for me and I stepped out, ignoring his courtesy.

I went to the back of the car and helped Alice with my bags. We only needed one trip with Edward, Alice, and me. We entered a small lobby area, the black-haired receptionist behind the desk greeted Edward, Edward smiled and returned it. She smiled at Alice. Her smile faded a bit when it landed on me. I smiled back, trying to conceal my curiosity and hurt. The elevator opened and Edward went up alone with my things, telling Alice to stop at the twelfth floor and go to the right.

I took deep breaths, trying to calm myself. _Breathe in, one…two…three…suspend the air and let it go…four… five… _I used that routine whenever I was troubled. After I did it about three times in the elevator, Alice gave me a hug from the side. I placed my hands on her arms and hugged her back awkwardly. The elevator dinged twice and we made a right and saw an apartment door opened: Edward's.

I was the first to go through the door. A little hallway faced me with a kitchen on the left, an open door on the right, I saw big, ceiling to ground windows. I saw two other doors on the right of the hallway. Edward came out of the open door and he half smiled. "Want a tour?"

"Sure" Alice said without hesitation.

Edward gestured to the kitchen "Kitchen" He gestured to the room he just came from, "Your room".

I walked over and looked it. A little bed faced the door, a desk was on the right said of the room. Two windows were above the bed with a pretty good view of Central Park another door was on the left. "There's not much to it, I didn't know how long you'd be living here but stuff will get in eventually" He looked down at me. I nodded.

Edward continued down the hallway, The next door "Bathroom" That's probably what the door the of left of my room was about. We made it to the end of the hallway and I gasped. "Living Room" he said, indifferent. Alice was gaping at the beauty of it. Ceiling to ground windows covered it, revealing a gorgeous view of Rockefeller Center and The Empire State building. A little platform stretched to the two sides of the room that windows covered. Then I noticed two of the windows were double doors with a balcony, parallel to the hallway. A flat screen TV was placed on the wall to the left. A desk with a computer was placed on the platform. A lightwood acoustic guitar sat nestled on the other side of the platform, music sheets covering the floor. A big, teal, velvet sofa covered the floor along with two matching arm chairs facing the TV. A glass coffee table sat in front of the sofa. The hardwood shined against the sunlight coming from the windows.

"Damn" Alice held out of the word, breaking the silence. "Your place is just..just…damn!" Alice gaped.

Edward laughed softly "Thank you. And my room is behind us" I looked back at the last door on the hallway. Edward opened it and a huge bed with a green bed spread sat in the middle of the room. A huge window behind the bed revealed Central park just like mine. A door was on the right, probably going to the bathroom. Surprisingly, I knew we would have to share a bathroom. His room was decorated in paintings and there were more music sheets on the floor than in the living room.

We heard a knock. Before we could guess who it was we heard-

"Open the door or I'll huff and I'll puff and you'll all starve while I eat this delicious food!"…Emmett

Alice hopped to the door and opened it see Emmett with three or four shopping bags in his arms.

Edward and I walk towards him. "What are you doing here?" We both asked and looked at each other briefly.

"Jynx!" Alice winked and took two bags from Emmett's arms.

"I figured we could all have a little family dinner" Emmett grinned and set the food on the counter in the kitchen.

"No, I don't have work, thanks for asking, Em" Edward said dyly

"OH YEAH!" Emmett stuck his head around the corner. "You don't have work right?"

I stepped forward to help Alice. "You're so unpredictable" I laughed. "What's for dinner?" I asked of Emmett's smile.

"My famous lasagna" Emmett said

Alice sighed and reached to put her elbow on her brother's shoulder, "I'll get the fire extinguisher"

Emmett mashed her head away and she stuck her tongue out at him. Even in their twenties, they acted like the two children siblings they were. Emmett walked out for a minute and I opened up the pasta.

"No worries, Ed, we'll clean it up" Alice looked up at him and smiled.

"Not worried at all. Can I help?"

I grabbed a spice. "Here, grind the nutmeg into the bowl" I handed it to him, our hands touched- of course- and he smiled softly at me. My heart soared and I turned back to the noodles in self-loathing. Alice elbowed me twice and winked. I glared at her and went back to my job. I'm not an imbecile. No matter how much Alice would try to influence me, I would not go any further.

Emmett returned and cleared his throat. I turned and he was holding my guitar case- something I treasured with my life. "Forget something?"

I nodded and took the guitar. How could I forget this? How could I forget this most sacred thing to me? I sighed. I wasn't good but sure enough, it meant a lot to me. "Yes, thank you"

"Bella, maybe we could do-" Alice kissed her fist. I rolled my eyes. I wasn't good at that song yet but me and Alice loved to sing it.

"Oh yeah, you guys should do it!" Emmett said excitedly. He only wanted to see it because he loves making fun of me and Alice's inner teenager. I felt my face turn red_. Edward would be watching…_So? No big deal. I swallowed the nervous bile in my throat.

Dinner was ready about an hour or so after. We all sat around with paper plates. Alice was sandwiched between me and Emmett. Edward sat in one of the single arm chairs by Emmett. Again, Edward was learning to space himself, however he did look happier by me. I had to admit, it really sucked how torn this situation was…Emmett laughed hysterically at his own jokes. Alice would flick his head and he'd only laugh harder. Edward laughed too, more than I'd ever seen him laugh.

His green eyes were also glowing, glowing more than I'd ever seen them. Somehow, my cheeks were flushed by that, they're beauty. I felt happy that he was a happy. This wasn't a manual effect of my brain to be happy. This was automatic. I was happy and I didn't even have to try. Perhaps living with Edward would not be so bad. It would not be easy but maybe not as hard as I want it to be.

Edward noticed my staring. I looked away, flushing even more, trying not to grimace.

"Bella" I looked at Alice, she had her fist to her mouth, I could notice how her eyes pleaded. I was not going to win this fight but I might as well go down trying.

"Please, Alice, I'm not good" I pled with her

"B-but, but ,but, Bella" She held out the last letter of my name. She clasped her hands in front of her as if she were begging for food.

I sat, arms crossed, glaring at her pathetic expression. We sat staring for a good two minutes. My teeth were clenched, body still, hands fisted. Alice remained unchanged. This was impossible. I couldn't embarrass myself…Emmett would make fun of me. Edward would…_enough about Edward! _My mind chided me.

"Oh fine" I said so quietly. Alice squealed and ran to get my guitar.

"She's an unstoppable force of nature" Emmett chuckled.

"For sure" I murmured, angry

Alice came back with my acoustic, out of its case and beautiful. She shoved it in my face, I took it gently, with care. I took the single arm chair and sat the instrument softly on lap. I tuned it a bit. My guitar, no matter where it's been, is always tuned so I don't have to make too many adjustments. I looked at Alice who had her hand on the arm of the chair; she was looking at me urging me to say the lyrics first. I sighed sharply, blood rushing to my cheeks.

"_You hit me once, I hit you back, you gave a kick, I gave a slap, you smashed a plate over my head then I set fire to our bed"_ I tapped the guitar four times played the rock beat.

Alice sang what I said and then went into the bridge of the song. I had to admit, Alice had a much better singing voice than I did. She was in chorus in high school, a soprano.

"_Break the lock if it don't fit, A kick to the teeth is good for some-"_

She looked at me to finish it. _"A kiss with a fist is better than none"_

She banged her head to the beat I went with my guitar and somehow I felt the need to do it too, I resisted. Alice went through the second verse and this time I joined her at the bridge.

"_Love sticks, Sweat drips, Break the lock if it don't fit, A kick to the teeth is good for some. A kiss with a fist is better than none!" _

Emmett joined us in the chorus_."You hit me once  
I hit you back  
You gave a kick  
I gave a slap  
You smashed a plate over my head  
Then I set fire to our bed"_

"Guitar solo!" Alice yelled with delight.

I did my best going through the solo that was supposed to be done on electric. I messed up a few times but Alice and Emmett were dancing together anyway. I bopped my head keeping the beat, my fingers protested but I kept going. I finished it and Alice yelped in joy. Alice and I went through the chorus together once and I ended it perfectly. Alice yelped in joy, jumping up and down. I grinned at her, my spirits definitely up. I saw Edward smiling as well even though he had not participated.

The rest of the night we talked and joked but did not play again. I caught Edward smiling at me multiple times; somehow I was able to smile back. Alice stayed by my side, her head resting against my shoulder, I was always her pillow.

It was around eleven at night when we realized Alice and Emmett had to go. I sighed, she took my hand and I led her to the door. Emmett and Edward smacked their hands together; the current male handshake. Alice gave me a hug. "I'll see you later" She said into my ear.

I could only nod; I was choked up and scared. I squeezed her and she let go. Her and Emmett left. There, Edward and I stood, unmoving for a good five minutes. A normal person wouldn't have stood the awkwardness and said something, my problem was I didn't know what to say; I didn't know what to do.

Edward was the first to move and I looked straight after him. He plopped down on the couch. I sighed and walked into my room.

I sat on my new bed and folded my hands together. I silently let the tears flow from my face. How long would I be here? How long? Please… Please let Renee be okay, that's all that I ask. I laid my head on my knees and sniffled. I prayed Edward wouldn't hear me; I didn't want to hurt his feelings. I'd probably hurt him enough already. This was going to be a long time here. I sat for awhile, only until my back started to ache did I get up and open my suitcase up. I threw pillows on my bed as well as my shorts and a t-shirt for bed.

I took my toiletries and headed into the bathroom. I looked at my face. My mouth was turned down to a frown. Purple bruises were on my cheek and neck. My fingers touched my neck and cheeks: they hurt. I couldn't find it in me to be angry, I'd been mad enough. My dark brown hair was pulled up into a neat pony tail. My eyes looked dead and bloodshot, under them were dark circles. I was a mess. My face was still wet from tears. I splashed cold water onto my face to snap myself out of it. My eyes were wide now but not dead at least, less red too. I ran my hand through my hair a few times before brushing my teeth.

Afterwards, I went into the hallway and found no one on the sofa but the lights were still on. I sat down on the sofa, pulling my knees up. I rested my mouth on the back of my knees. Sleep was the last thing on my mind. I just sat, trying to absorb my surroundings. I looked out the window to see the Empire State building illuminating the night proudly the colors blue, green, and gold. Rockefeller center glowed behind it as well. The rest of the city's lights were slowly turning off but those two stayed on, bright for even the planes flying above to see…New York would always be New York no matter how much the people in it changed. A small smile found my lips.

"Beautiful isn't it?" I gasped and whirled my head to see Edward standing at the corner with two cups.

I tried to slow my heart, he was so quiet. "Edward…I didn't hear you"

He laughed softly and walked over to me, sitting down next to me, still giving me space. "Sorry, I wasn't sure if you were asleep or not…Coffee?" I stared at his hand offering me the cup, hesitating. His eyes were worried. "Its decaf, don't worry" He said, seriously

I let out a small huff of humor. I took the mug with both hands and unfolded my legs. "Thanks" He sipped and looked at the scenery.

"I love this view, especially at night" He murmured.

"It is pretty" I said, looking at it again. Cars honked faintly below. I was still smiling a bit; same old New York.

The awkwardness had lifted quite quickly, all I saw was New York. All I felt was calm. All I heard were cars and breathing. Everything was so soft. I like it. Edward sure knew how to make a girl feel comfortable. So peaceful…so quiet…

_RING! RING! _My phone rang and vibrated in my waistband. Again, I got scared out of my body. My heart thumped hard in my chest as I looked at the caller ID. I looked at Edward who had his mouth in a tight line, trying not to laugh. I set the coffee on the talbe in front of us, flipped the phone open and laid my ear against the receiver.

"What, Alice?" I said angrily

"Sorry! Did I wake you?" She sputtered at the other end

"No, Al, I'm talking to you in my sleep. What do you think?" I growled at her.

"Well aren't you a pocketful of sunshine" She sarcastically muttered.

"You…" _interrupted my nice moment _"called when I was just about to fall asleep" I said, quieter this time.

"Sorry, I was just wanted to see how you were doing" She said

"Well no emotional breakdowns after an hour so I'd say I'm okay"

"Okay…just wanted to check up on you…I'll see you later"

"Okay…"

"Bye" She said, sounding like she didn't want to say it.

I clicked the phone shut and sighed sharply.

"Everything okay?" Edward asked, smirking. I had to admit, that made my heart flip all over the place.

"Yes, Alice was just worried." I watched at the _Call ended_ sign disappear to my background of me and Alice. I was laughing; Alice had her tongue stuck in my direction with one eye in a wink. I missed those days; the days were I could laugh like that. I felt sadness.

"Bella?"

I looked up. "What?" His eyes bored into my mind…I felt my thoughts and feelings disappear.

"Can I…" He hesitated, a pink color fading into his cheeks. "Cam I hold your hand?" He asked, his eyes never left mine.

My heart thudded fast. Red reached my cheeks. _Its only your hand. Not your waist, not your hips, not your face. Just your hand. _A voice reassured me. "Uhh…" My own voice was uneven. After a moment's hesitation, I said "sure"

He held his hand out and it looked more inviting than it should. Slowly, I place mine in his and his fingers closed around my hand. Just as always, he was warm, he felt hot since my hands were "so cold" he murmured. I felt shock, he echoed my thoughts.

"Huh?" my voice shook.

"Your hand. It's so cold, Bella" He said, concerned.

"Yours are so warm" I whispered, looking at our hands, admiring the picture. It looked…good? No, that's not the word…

"Here" He put down his mug and added his other hand- which was extremely warm because of the coffee- to my, sandwiching my hand. It felt so…good… The picture looked so…right. That was the word.

There we sat, holding hands for a good while, watching the city that never sleeps. My flush only became more dominate as my hand started to warm up.

"…Bella…" I looked over at him, liking the way he said my name. "I…I want to apologize"

"Apologize? Apologize for what?" I asked, very confused.

"I'm sorry…you must be uncomfortable especially when moving into a stranger's home…" He looked down at our hands, my fingers wanting to intertwine with his.

"…No…don't be sorry…and besides…you're not a stranger" I said softly, he looked up at me again. "You're a friend…", _Friend,_ that word burned like a hot iron on my mouth. But that's the way it was supposed to be. Edward didn't seem to like it either but he didn't argue.

"I just…I don't know…I see it in your eyes…you're not… happy" he hesitated a lot, as if one word would break me.

"It's not because of you, Edward, please grasp that" I willed my eyes to his but all I saw was sadness. "It's because of someone else who should be apologizing" I said, my heart falling into pieces.

"Please, you don't have to say anymore. You're hurting" He said quickly, his pain reflecting mine.

I nodded, taking deep breaths. "thank you" After a few minutes, Edward replaced my hand with my other, warming it up. I blushed again. "You don't have to be sorry…in fact, I should be thanking you"

He looked at me with confusion. "Why?"

"Well for letting me stay here for one and two for saving me. God knows what could have happened if I went into my apartment alone and faced Charlie" Edward winced but I smiled. "Thank you…so much" I said with complete sincerity.

He looked choked up as he smiled at me. "It was no problem at all." I felt myself smiling too. Then out of all of it, I yawned. Edward chuckled. "I think that decaf is working too well. I think it's time we both went to bed"

I nodded and got up with him. Edward hesitated, tugged his wrist a bit but I hesitated. I knew he wanted me to embrace him but I couldn't find it in myself to do it willingly now. I sighed sadly and walked down the hallway to my room. "Bella?" He asked once more of me. I turned. He had a hand on the door knob to his room. I envied that knob. "Good night" his lips were tugged up in a way that should be called a smile but not completely.

"Night" I tried to smile sincerely at him but I couldn't find it in me and went into my room.


	6. Chapter 6: Buried Regrets

Golden Hero Chapter 6;Buried regrets

Another Week Passed…

It's almost my birthday…

Images are shooting through my mind…

And I don't know why…

I found myself looking at the ceiling of the apartment. Sweat was dewed on my forehead and cheeks. My breathing was heavy, panting. The alarm at my bedside beeped in my ear. I turned it off, the clock indicating it was eight, forty in the morning. The air was stiff and the room was eerie. Something about today seemed unsettling but I couldn't put my finger on it. I got out of bed, wrapped myself in my blankets, forgetting the dreams and feelings.

I went to the living room to see the sun riding up alongside the buildings of New York. Then I saw Edward out on the balcony, his elbows resting on the railing. I hesitated before going up to him. We had become awkward again. We were talking but it was not very comfortable. The morning breeze met my skin that was not covered my blanket. I rubbed the fabric over my nose, trying to warm it. Edward was staring out at the empire state building. I copied his position, listening to the cars, footsteps, voices and much more sound effects of New York.

"Morning" He said without taking his eyes off the buildings. He seemed off today as well. His voice was usually more cheery and inviting. Today it sounded like it had no emotion.

"Good Morning" I returned the greeting, trying to conceal my concern.

We stood for awhile. Edward had work in a few hours and I was heading over to spend time with Alice and Emmett today. I hadn't seen Alice since last week when I first moved in. Edward had always been perfectly polite but I could see the hurt in his eyes for I was rejecting his admiration for me. I sighed as Edward place in hand facing up on the railing. I knew what he wanted and that was all I allowed. I put my hand on his, even if his mood was, his hand still was not. His fingers squeezed mine which was different because he usually didn't do that, he was soft. I squeezed back, hoping he was feeling better. He kept staring at the empire state building intensely.

"Bella, what time is it?" He asked, ever so gently

"Um…" I pulled out my wrist from the blanket. "Eight forty-six."

He winced harshly which scared me. Without thinking I put my other hand on top of his, the sheet falling off me. "Edward…?" My voice was shaky as his green eyes stared even more intensely at the building. "I-I think we should go inside" I tugged on his hand, thinking he would resist but instead he let me pull him in.

I slipped my fingers from his to go get coffee. We coordinated very well, we were always aware the other existed. Each morning one of us would make coffee for both of us. The other would make breakfast for us. We'd always watch the morning news together to wake ourselves up. The same was at night: Dinner, Coffee, TV, and Bed. I found it a tad odd but then again, it felt so comfortable…so _normal_. I felt like that trait had left my persona a long time ago, I guess not.

I poured two mugs of coffee and carried them carefully to the living room. Edward had disappeared. I set the cups down and turned on the news. As I plopped on the sofa, Edward came from out of the bathroom with a cup of water and one small white pill in his hand: My prescription from Carlisle. His eyes traveled to the mug.

"Thanks" We both said to each other. I smirked slightly, he remained unchanged. He put the pill on the coffee table along with the water. I handed him his coffee and murmured a "Thanks" again.

Edward leaned back into the couch, his eyes more dead than they were before as he turned on the news.

"-believe it was six years ago?" the new woman said to her colleague.

"No I can't, it's still really surprising and shocking." A video of a plane crashing into the North tower of the World Trade Center went on screen…

_Its September eleventh… _My heart dropped. That's why it was so eerie and uncomfortable in the city today. Edward must be taking it very harshly.

_"STOP! LET ME GO!" _

I winced at the screaming voice but it was only my head…

"I'm going to work" Edward said coldly, pulling me back to Earth.

I looked over at him as he put his coat over his shoulders. I looked at my watch. It was only five minutes after nine. "B-but Edward, isn't it a bit early-"

"No, They'd appreciate me coming in early to help with inventory" He said, looking at me with his harsh expression. I flinched. He walked down the hall, I followed hastily after him

"Oh… okay, Well I'll see you later but Edward-" My words were cut off for her already closed the door.

I sighed. What had I done wrong? Why was he so upset? I wish there was something I could do to make him warm again…

Once all the hugs and squeals were over, me and Alice decided to walk over to ground zero to pay respects. Emmett would meet us there. I purposely wore black today in respect for the people who died. Alice put on her long dark coat along with a black headband. Her eyes were solemn. We left her apartment and I offered to drive.

Someone cut me off and Alice did the yelling for me. I sighed.

"I can't-"

"Help yourself. I know" I grimly interrupted her.

She sat back in her seat, her arms crossed over her chest. New York was even more congested today than it usually was… if that was possible.

Alice and I had stopped at a flower shop and picked up two roses. She had the pink one in her hand. She caressed the petals; I could only imagine what it feels like: soft, smooth, thin, fragile.

I kept my eyes on the road, weaving in and out of traffic. I noticed a lot of the citizens of New York were wearing black today. I even saw a couple people shedding a few tears. This was a difficult day for the city.

There was a huge line of traffic at ground zero, it was understandable. I parked on the curb about a few blocks away from the huge line of people. And just as I got out of the car, I felt a drop of water on my head. Alice came out of the car on the other side, big black umbrella in hand. I grabbed the two roses for us. They seemed to stand out like the moon in the night sky. Alice and I traded so I could hold the umbrella over us.

I tried not to look at people's faces. I could see some were in tears and others were like Edward's: Dead. We waited in a huge line. I looked into the chain-linked fence to see the resting place of so many lives. Alice leaned against the fence and sighed. She too was saddened by this day.

After fifteen minutes of slow movement, we were caught up in the flow heading into the memorial. I saw Emmett waving his hand from inside; of course he had a nervous smile on even today.

After another ten minutes, we made it to him and he gave me a soft hug as well as Alice. A huge fountain sat before the ditch. Thousands of different types and colors of flowers were floating in it. I noticed Emmett had a black rose with him. It seemed to have a grave feeling to it but that didn't hide its beauty. Alice handed me the yellow rose and I hovered my nose over the petal. The sweet smell enveloped my nose and I said a quiet prayer. I may not have been that religious but it was respecting these people.

Emmet, Alice, and I looked at each other but looking down at the fountain. There were so many flowers we couldn't see our reflections.

"One…two…" Alice murmured, closing her eyes clutching the rose before holding it above the water.

"…three" I breathed and as soon as I knew it, the yellow beauty slipped from my fingers and into the pond. I sighed, trying not to produce tears myself. I had lost no one yet it felt like a part of me was ripped from myself.

I looked over and saw Alice had her head down. I slid an arm around her shoulders and guided her out. It was too much. We headed out passing people with tears in their eyes and heads down. We all couldn't take it as Alice and I ran to catch up with Emmett's fast retreating body.

Once out Emmett took a deep breath and looked between us. I rubbed my hand against Alice's arm. Her head slid onto my shoulder.

"Want to head back to your place?" I asked of Emmett.

"Sure" He shrugged. "Meet you there"

I nodded and we parted ways.

Once at Alice and Emmett's apartment that afternoon, we all did what we wanted: took a nap. Alice and I were scrambled on her bed with her playlist of our favorite songs on. She held my hand. She wasn't as strong as I was to handle this. Alice could not conceal her pain like I could, she was not afraid to show it to the world.

As I slept I felt images tugging in and out of my mind. Memories were trying to be remembered however it was unsuccessful. Surely these were memories I had locked away in the depts of my mind years ago. Voices also rolled around in my head; yelling, screaming, crying. Sirens sounded.

_I heard an earsplitting cry. I'd never heard anything in my life as painful and agonizing as that cry of despair. _

_"Please!" I heard myself scream. "He needs someone!" _

"_Their words mostly noises  
Ghosts with just voices  
Your words in my memory  
Are like music to me"_

Snow Patrol was singing me awake as I found my eyes were open. My hand went to my face and found water. I'd cried in my sleep. I scraped my fingers across my cheek, scoping tears off my face. Alice was still asleep, her hair messier than usual, her hands had been gripping a pillow. Very carefully, I smooth out her hands on the pillow, hopefully soothing her nightmares.

The clock on her dresser read it was five o'clock. We'd slept three hours. My feet found the floor and I stretched my arms in front of me hearing my knuckles cracking as well as my back.

Quietly, I stepped out of the room and into the front room. Emmett was on the sofa clicking through TV channels. He looked up and smiled at me; a normal Emmett smile. The nap must have helped. "Hey, Swan" He said.

"Hi" I sat next to him, bringing my knees to my chest. 9/11 stuff was still on TV. It was hard to watch even all the boring speeches given by the Mayor and Governor on the new World Trade Center. Emmett picked up a bowl of popcorn and started munching on it. _Maybe I should be getting home…Edward's probably there…He shouldn't be alone, he seemed so upset…_ I contemplated, seeing his face in my mind from this morning.

Emmett shoved the bowl at me. "Opcrn?" He said with a full mouth. I took a handful and ate each separately. The salty and buttery flavors saturated my tongue as commercial came on.

"Is my sister still snoozing?" Emmett asked, swallowing another handful of the snacks.

I nodded.

"Are you okay?" He asked, concerned. I looked over at Emmett's blue eyes. They were excited as always yet I saw his cautiousness.

"I'm not sure." I sighed

"Edward acting weird today?" Emmett asked as if it was obvious.

"How did you know?" I asked, curious. Maybe I was finally getting answers.

He hesitated. "…this isn't the best day for him…He lost his parents in 9/11" He murmured, his eyes sorrow.

My throat tightened. _He lost his parents_… I stared at the carpet in shock. How could I not realize this before? How come it didn't come to mind? "Both of them?" My voice cracked.

"Yep" He put the bowl down. "They were in direct path of when the first plane hit the south tower. They didn't make it" Emmett said, his voice in pain as well as his face. "He remembers everything…the time…the place…the very room he used to go to so he could wait for his mom; the room that got hit: Everything" _Time…_

_"Bella, what time is it?" He asked, ever so gently_

_ "Um…" I pulled out my wrist from the blanket. "Eight forty-six."_

_He winced harshly_

_Place…_

_Edward was staring out at the empire state building_

_ He was staring at the direction of the World Trade Center…_

I couldn't see what was in front of me. Suddenly, I felt all my memories come rushing back like wild rapids. I didn't feel my head hit the ground as I passed out.

_(x+1)/2=~(4-x) _

I banged my pencil against my desk as I thought about the question for a moment. This was just a normal day for a sophomore; Algebra II had to be my first academic of the day. As long as I got it over with I guess it was fine but still, not my choice of a morning subject. What about English? I can do that in the morning…

"Alright, guys, we have about five more minutes so you can pack it up" the teacher said and started explaining the homework. I listened and packed at the same time. Once I was done scrambling, I rested my hand on my cheek, staring out the window. The twin towers shined against the sunlight. That's the first thing I always see in the morning, so beautiful…

I checked my watch, eight-forty five. I sighed. Four minutes left. Come on… I groaned internally and dropped my bag to the floor. I took out a page from my notebook and began doodling. Everybody was talking away. Alice was in her Spanish class across the hall. I wish I could talk to her…She could make time fly…

A kid behind me asked what the homework was. I turned around explained. He had blue eyes, tan skin, and blonde hair was in spikes; Mike Newton I think his name was. He seemed very excitable; almost like a dog if you look at it that way…

"Thanks Bella" He grinned at me showing me his perfect teeth. He was quiet the show off.

_BOOM! _ I nearly jumped from my seat. A huge crash sounded from the window I was just looking out of. All heads turned to see the most unbelievable thing we'd ever seen. A huge hole was dented in one of the twin towers. Smoke same out of it.

The room was dead silent. Nobody said anything or was moving. All they did was watch. My heart thumped loudly and strong in my chest. What just happened? My hands shook, my pencil dropping to the ground. Once that sound of wood hitting the tile, everyone seemed to unfreeze. Sirens sounded outside.

Whispered filled the dense air. I looked my teacher and she looked completely still, he face was pale as a bone. I noticed her hands were shaking as well. Water was forming around her eyelids. Without warning or sound, she left from the room, leaving us unattended.

Chaos erupted in New York that day. School was called out and everyone was either picked up or walked home. I did neither. My heavy pants filled my mind. People ran past me in the other direction with panicked expressions. My mom's building was right next to the towers. A second plane had crashed into the North tower. Terrified, I turned from Alice's mom and had begun running. I had to know if Renee was okay. Alice ran behind me but soon fell back. It was as if it were a dream. Everything was in slow motion. The sounds around me disappeared. Only one thing I was concentrating on came to my mom.

Something hot hit my back. My hand whipped around, it had cooled quickly. Black ash coated the tip of my finger. I swallowed my fear and kept running for the building were nearly overhead. I maneuvered out of the way of cops- that is… until I found Charlie. Somehow I felt relief that he was okay.

"Bella!" He said alarmed, taking me in his arms.

"Dad" I whispered in relief. He smelled of smoke. "Where's Mom?" I asked catching my breath.

"She's in the hotel down the street. Frank will take you" He motioned for Officer Jones who I was not particularly close to at the time. Charlie gave me a squeeze and let me go with him.

We ran and of course I tripped many times, once I fell to the ground and scraped my knees. Jones then ended up taking me in his arms and running me there. The sky shook from Frank's running. My heart beat loudly in my chest as screams echoed in my mind. Terror seemed to surround the calm state I was in. I closed my eyes, shutting out the horror around me.

I felt the air of the Marriot wash over my skin. Then I heard the most wonderful sound I'd ever heard that day.

"Bella!" Mom…

I opened my eyes to see Renee pushing through the huge crowd of people in the hotel. Jones let me down and I bound straight for her. Relief saturated me as my mother's arms wrapped around me. Thank goodness… I thought I'd lost her. She stroked my hair and whispered that it was okay.

"I got you, baby" She squeezed and for once our roles seemed to be normal. Usually, I was the one calming Renee down from all her panic and craziness.

"Thank goodness, Mom" I said, tears in my eyes.

We were ordered to sit down against the wall. Renee held onto me, brushing my hair with her fingers, caressing my cheeks every now and then. We sat for awhile. I looked around at everyone in the room. There were workers, children, teachers, police, teens just like me. Then I noticed a boy maybe about my age, maybe a bit older? He was shaking. My heart shrunk for him. He had brown with a tint of red hair hanging just above his ears. His eyes looked a leaf color but I couldn't be too sure. He looked terrified. I adjusted to get up but Renee pinned me down.

"Mom, I just want to check on that boy" I pointed at him and Renee shook her head violently. I glared at her.

"I'm not going to lose you. You can talk to him after this is all over" She said sharply.

"But-" I wanted to protest but she cut me off with a scared glance.

I sighed, defeated and watched the boy. A police officer came over, looking business-like asking him something. The boy shook his head, looking like he was trying not to cry.

We heard a train…except there wasn't any train tracks nearby and all the subways were down.

"Everybody get down!" We heard police scream at us repeatedly. Then the boy had tears coming down his cheeks. I nearly got up but of course Renee yanked me down.

"The second tower's coming down!" Someone shouted.

I covered my head and cowered into Renee. All that could be heard was the train, becoming louder and louder. It sounded like something was hitting against the building; rain? But it was perfectly sunny out…Renee and I held onto each other, both comforting at the same time.

After about thirty agonizing seconds, it stopped. Everyone was quiet. Then suddenly, a anguished scream filled the room. I looked over at the boy. He had his eyes squeezed shut and his mouth opened, tears streaming down his face. My heart broke into pieces in that moment. I had never seen someone in so much pain before. His cries were loud and painful. I thrust forward and fought against my mother's restraints.

Each time he cried, I fought even harder, tears drenching my face.

Police surrounded him, restraining him as well.

"LET ME GO!" He screamed at them.

My mother's nails dug into my skin, causing me to cry out in pain.

"Let me _go_!" I yelled at her.

"There's nothing you can do, Bella!" Renee yelled back. I looked at her with such hate expression her hands snapped off my arms as if she had just been electrocuted.

I ran into the police as they restrained the boy. Jones held my arms pushing me back to Renee.

"No! No! Please!" I heard my voice scream.

"LET ME GO!" he screamed.

He cried and yelled and screamed as I begged the officers to let me in.

"Please, he needs someone! Please!" I begged

"Are you in relation to him?" One asked and I shook my head.

"Then no" he told me.

I wanted to shoot myself. Why couldn't I just lie? He needed someone and holding him back would do him no good. I crashed into them, trying my hardest to break their barrier. I felt like a mouse trying to break into _the Great Wall Of China._ Then I heard Charlie yelling and restraining me and finally pulling me back. I screamed and thrust forward. Then I felt a finger on my lower neck. Everything went black.

_Let him go…Let him go…_

_ Give him to me…_

_ I'm so sorry…_

"Bells?"

_Why didn't you let anyone know? _

_ Tell me…_

"Bella, wake up"

_Why didn't you tell me, Edward? _

"Bella!" I felt strong hands thrusting me back and forth, my eyes shaking awake. "Damn, when did you become such a heavy sleeper?" Emmett grumbled.

I blinked once. Twice. Multiple times. Thunder rumbled outside. Emmett's head was towering over me. He was mad but I could sense his concern but other things were more important at the moment…

How could I not see it? How could I not remember? I remembered how that image- that day- had given me nightmares every night for a long time until I finally was successful in banishing it from my mind, that boy disappearing completely with it.

"I have to go" I sat straight up and went for my coat.

"W-hat?" Emmett stammered and followed me.

"Please, understand, I have to go. Now." I looked him straight in the eyes.

"At least let me give you a ride, its storming out there" Emmett panicked.

I couldn't face the city traffic right now; it'd be easier to walk- to run.

I shook my head furiously and headed out before he could say another word. I sprinted down the stairs and into the city.

New York was same as always. Rain poured from the sky, faint lightning illuminated it. Thunder clashed in the distance. I ran through the crowds of people on the sidewalks. Brushing and pushing passed each and everyone. My hair became soaked in less than a minute as well as my whole body. I held back my shivers, I couldn't think of being cold right now.

It felt like a nightmare. I can usually make it through the city walking to Edward's in about ten minutes from Alice's but not tonight. I felt like I was running at slow motion, just like the movies, just like that terrifying day so many years ago. Bodies pulled me back as they all squished together for shelter. That was the point where I snapped at everyone around me; breaking through everyone as they were strong metal chains I'd been imprisoned in.

How could he not tell me? How could I have not figured it out? How come no one was there for him? Why didn't they let me through? So many question raced through my mind, one coming after the other without giving me time to think about any of them. I was afraid my questions would soon be answered.

And as if I'd made it to heaven, my home opened up in front of me. I sprinted to the maroon colored apartment building. After pushing the last of the pedestrians, I burst through the doors. I tapped the elevator button too many times.

"Come on, come on" I muttered to myself.

I finally heard my breathing; it was quick, panting, nearly exhausted breaths. My teeth began to chatter. It was freezing outside as well as the rain hitting me like ice cycles.

_Ding Ding_

I nearly missed the elevator as its doors began to close. I slammed my hand between the doors and pushed myself through and pushed my level. I leaned against the railing catching my breath. I shivered sliding my cold, wet hands up and down my cold, wet arms. I'd left my jacket at Alice and Emmett's. For once I wanted to cry, I needed the warmth of tears. My shivers became too much and I slid to the floor. My legs shook and my hands found my face, my hair. It was all cold, all wet.

But through all of it, I felt a beating; a fast, vibrant beating coming from my chest. My hand touched my collarbone and I felt my heart thumping furiously against it. Edward was only a few floors away. How much relief could I possibly feel? Enough to make me smile throughout all this pain. He needs me. He needs to have someone. He needs to know he has someone. He's been way too alone for way too alone.

_Ding-_

I ran through the elevator doors once I had enough room and down the hallway. And that door, that apartment door I've gotten to know so well, seemed to stand out like gold in silver. My shaky hands pulled out a pair of keys from my pocket. The keys shook as I constantly tried to get them in the lock. They shook too much that I couldn't slide it in. I needed to calm myself down. I laid my head against the door, took a deep breath, relax my hand, slid the keys through the lock, twisted the knob and just like that, the door opened. The smell of Edward washed over my cold skin and I knew I was home.

The apartment was dark. The only sound in the room was my rapid heartbeat. Silence seemed louder than sound. One step and I knew, no living person inhabited this place. I hesitantly closed the door behind me. It creaked shut. I dropped my keys on the counter, cringing at the noise, and made my way down the hallway. I didn't speak or call out, only looked. I knew if I spoke and heard nothing, I would regret it.

Rain pattered the glass windows, as I made my way to the living room, my heart dropped into my stomach for a moment. I saw a figure, crouched by the window opposite of me. I relaxed for I knew it was the boy I had been anxious to see for far too long. He had his arms wrapped around his knees, head lying against the glass. I wondered why he didn't respond to my being here. My eyes traveled to the light switch. Was he awake? Only one way to find out…

My finger flicked the switch on, light filled the apartment. Edward jumped from where he was crouching. My breaths stifled. Edward breathed hard. All my will told me to go by his side but I remained in the entryway. Is he still mad from this morning? He shook his head, running his hands through his hair. He picked himself up off the floor. His head turned and I felt like I was looking at him for the first time. His face was so different; so miserable. His green eyes had lost their glow again and that's what made my heart break into a thousand pieces.

We stood staring at each other without saying anything. In those endless moments, Edward knew that I knew what he's had to go through half his life. His eyes moved down and away from mine. His name bubbled to my lips but before I could even get a syllable out, he walked passed me and into his room. I looked off into his direction, heartbroken. I placed my hands on my head. I tried to regulate my breathing but I couldn't, tears fell from my cheeks.

Within the minute he left, he came back. I heard his footsteps and my heart jumped in my chest. He came back out of his room with a blanket in hand. He approached me, his eyes calm but emotionless. That's what scared me the most. I wanted to talk to him but I couldn't seem to find my voice. I needed to let him know. I had to tell him I remembered. His heat and smell blew onto my face as he draped the blanket over my shoulders. My forgotten shivers ceased.

He walked passed and behind me. My heart jumped and without hesitation, I ran back and grabbed the back of his blue shirt.

"Stop", my voice came out strong and bold.

He halted, only because of my voice, not strength. He would surely pull me with him if I hadn't spoken. This had to stop. I needed him to be him again.

"You don't have to turn around, just listen"

He didn't respond so I took that as an "okay". I felt as though I was speaking to a robot. I hesitated for a few minutes before speaking. "I'm sorry…about everything", Tears reformed in my eyes but I kept my voice sharp. "I'm sorry about your parents" – he flinched. I waited till I could speak again. "I'm sorry I wasn't there for you…when I was right across from you", I waited for a reaction but I got none. "Edward, I'm so sorry" I let my head drop and let go.

Several minutes passed. Neither of us moved or said anything. The silence seemed unbearable. I prayed Edward would forgive me or return to normal; anything but this. My vision became blurry. Edward took a step forward after that silence.

"N-No!" I tripped over my feet, my hands reached out and my arms wrapped around his waist. My head pushed against his back. He halted again. "D-don't" My voice stuttered. "You can't do this, Edward" I breathed into the fabric of his shirt. "Not while I'm around". It was then I realized I had broken down that last wall I had built for myself ever since that day years ago. I had crossed every boundary line I had specifically drawn. I had broken all my rules.

Yet I felt no regret. I felt no pain. I felt no loss. I felt no piercing pain in my heart. None. I felt heated. I felt excited. I felt warm. I felt confident and bold. I felt everything maybe more with Edward then I ever did with anyone else. And in that moment, I knew I would need him for as long as I lived; friend or love. I needed him now. This was exactly what I had been afraid of from the start. But is it a bad thing? It _should _be. I should be repulsed. I should be scrambling now. But I'd rather be right here than standing around doing nothing. My hands were fists against his chest. His heart beat under them, slow rhythmically.

"Please" I begged softly, "Please, stop hurting yourself" tears rolled down my face. "Please".

Slowly, he was alive again. He turned in my arms. I looked to see his head move down towards me. His eyes were full of tears.

"Oh, Edward…" I murmured. He had hid his pain from the world too long.

My arms slid from his back as he fully turned to face me. A second passed. He quickly slid his arms around my waist and brought his head to my shoulder. Shock filled me. Edward was embracing me back? I didn't begin to question. I just let relief fill me. He was not abandoning me. His body shook. My arms wrapped around neck and I embraced him back.

It was absolutely the best feeling in the world: being the arms of Edward. It was secure, so safe, so warm. Both of us were shaking and crying. "It's okay, it's okay" I whispered in his ear. "I'm here" I told him. Finally the words I had wanted to say to him since that very day were heard.

I guided us to the couch, still embraced; I let him hold onto me more. He tried to make as little noise as possible but I felt his hot tears on my shoulder. I laid my head into his shoulder. We sat for a good half hour. He however calmed down quite quickly. I still murmured reassurances even when he was done, although, I felt my eyes getting droopy. Soon it was quiet and as I was about to fall asleep, I already knew I had one more thing to do. I started whispering my part of the story in Edward's ear. I whispered every detail of the story to him, everything I remembered. I'd yawn occasionally. I don't know but I was sure I finished my story and was still murmuring reassurances, I fell asleep into Edward.


End file.
